Just a ditty...

[juliadebeauvoir]

A pitied glance of gilded oak,
leaf blown am I,
cool and flapping amongst
dovecote stars.
The wind sighs up and I with it,
alone, brown and hopeless.
A broken bird with useless wings,
unfettered from my wooden cage,
rustling I sing.

[cooladd]

I really like this poem especially

cool and flapping amongst
dovecote stars.

Tha imagery is imaginative.

[lemony]

I find this lovely to read out loud. I like it.

I enjoyed the mix of sad desolation '... brown and hopeless. A broken bird with useless wings,' with more hopeful imagery, 'unfettered ... rustling I sing'.

It gives me a sense of possibilities.

[Celticwych]

Hi Julia,

I love the imagery here, "The wind sighs up and I with it,
alone, brown and hopeless."
I feel the sense of futility but then rising to hopefullness in the last line.

Lovely,

Celtic Wych

[vesuvius]

I liked this poem.

With the "dovecote stars" which is a nice image, would "grey" (a pidgeon/dove) work better than brown? It has emotional connotations that fit with "alone and hopeless", whereas brown doesn't.

That's my only criticism and maybe it's just something I've missed.

Some good imagery and a very softly, smoothly spoken poem!

[Yesterday]

wow... it been a while since ive read this one... i liked it then, and i like it now. however all my comments have already been metioned. i love the way this flows, however, it is beautiful

[Ryder]

A nice little ditty it is too.
Great depth of imagery with plenty of sensual stimulation. Well packed.


Ryder