We advertise our spare room
‘cause the int’rest rate went up.
Some young chap phones because,
he says, at home he feels pent up.
I say we are a fam’ly
and in some ways we are strange.
He says we sound just perfect.
He’ll come by. At time arranged
I offer him a cuppa.
Says he likes his sugar strong.
Tells us all the psych drugs he
took lately – and what went wrong.
Then he reels off sev’ral more.
He outlines the side effects.
My wife, the nurse, is impressed.
I’m getting’ fuckin’ vexed.
His eyes are red – he’d not slept
for days – cramped up in his car.
I make a lame excuse to
go and lock up my guitar.
My famed CD collection
gets transported to my shed.
I hide my Neil Young poster
‘neath the mattress on my bed.
I search and scour the junk drawer.
I am looking for my keys.
While he talks, she just listens.
There goes my best wine - with cheese.
She tells me that I’m silly,
then he sees my nervous tic.
He’s now prescribing Prozac -
said for him it did the trick.
He’s gone to see another.
He’ll ring back with his verdict.
I sit the missus down, and
keen to avoid a conflict,
“If he stays we’ll lose the house!”
I say with deep emotion.
My mental state is fragile.
The rate of compensation
is much lower than my wage.
We can’t afford this roomer.
Things are getting serious!
I’ve lost my sense of humour.
Roomer
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- Location: Brisbane, Australia
Last edited by kozmikdave on Sun Sep 24, 2006 2:19 am, edited 1 time in total.
Cheers
Dave
"And I'm lost, and I'm lost
I'm lost at the bottom of the world
I'm handcuffed to the bishop and the barbershop liar
I'm lost at the bottom of the world
" [Tom]
Dave
"And I'm lost, and I'm lost
I'm lost at the bottom of the world
I'm handcuffed to the bishop and the barbershop liar
I'm lost at the bottom of the world
" [Tom]
-
- Productive Poster
- Posts: 63
- Joined: Sat Jul 01, 2006 1:55 am
- Location: Cornwall Ontario Canada on the St. Lawrence River
- Contact:
Fun. A couple of rough spots rhythmically.
"I sit the missus down, and/ keen to avoid a conflict" does not really transit to the next stanza.
The dialect draws the character nicely, as do the details. One of the nice touches is the "roomer"'s self-concept. Nice little vignette.
"I sit the missus down, and/ keen to avoid a conflict" does not really transit to the next stanza.
The dialect draws the character nicely, as do the details. One of the nice touches is the "roomer"'s self-concept. Nice little vignette.
If you are looking for a fascinating subject to write about, examine the details of your own life.
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- Perspicacious Poster
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- Joined: Sun Jun 25, 2006 9:36 am
- Location: Brisbane, Australia
Thanks Riv
Missed it. Hopefully reads a bit better.
Cheers
Dave
Missed it. Hopefully reads a bit better.
Cheers
Dave
Cheers
Dave
"And I'm lost, and I'm lost
I'm lost at the bottom of the world
I'm handcuffed to the bishop and the barbershop liar
I'm lost at the bottom of the world
" [Tom]
Dave
"And I'm lost, and I'm lost
I'm lost at the bottom of the world
I'm handcuffed to the bishop and the barbershop liar
I'm lost at the bottom of the world
" [Tom]
- Jester
- Preponderant Poster
- Posts: 1139
- Joined: Tue Jun 13, 2006 4:35 pm
- antispam: no
- Location: Manchester, England
- Contact:
Dave
Yep, a fun read to be sure. You know I always have nits about rhythm, but the humour outweighs any problems here. This was my favourite bit -
"My wife, the nurse, is impressed.
I’m getting’ fuckin’ vexed. " -----I didn't realise they used "vexed" in Oz. It's one I remember my mum using a lot.
Thanks for the laugh.
Mick
Yep, a fun read to be sure. You know I always have nits about rhythm, but the humour outweighs any problems here. This was my favourite bit -
"My wife, the nurse, is impressed.
I’m getting’ fuckin’ vexed. " -----I didn't realise they used "vexed" in Oz. It's one I remember my mum using a lot.
Thanks for the laugh.
Mick