Last one, promise.
That night she would not
Come back to the house - so we
Stayed with her there at
The sea's edge - waiting
And waiting - while the wind
Bent and cracked trees and
Huge unstoppable
Waves crashed down onto the dark
Rocks of Asgardstrand.
Cam
The Storm by guess who
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This is quite nice as far as it goes, and that's the only fault I can find with it...it stops too soon.
BEST REGARDS
SEAN KINSELLA
BEST REGARDS
SEAN KINSELLA
Have a thing for Munch, Cam?
Why did you promise this to be the last one? You may think of another tonight. I think they're great. Write as many as you please.
I like this one the best of the three. I remember sitting at the sea's edge late at night, many times. The sky seems clearest there - one of my favorite places to be, on any continent. (That's only a guess though, as sadly, I haven't left the shores of North America.)
It seemed to have less structure than "Ashes." (Even though it is still that "Haiku de renga" style, there seemed to be a rhyming scheme in "Ashes" whereas this one did not have that.) ((Maybe I'm seeing things))
A bit short, could have had a few more haikus attached to it, if you feel so inclined. But it depends on the effect you're going for. It was all past tense - it seems like a distant, beautiful, but isolated memory. And it fit the mood of the painting. So I don't see a need for more words.
Those are my thoughts. Good job.
- Caleb
Why did you promise this to be the last one? You may think of another tonight. I think they're great. Write as many as you please.
I like this one the best of the three. I remember sitting at the sea's edge late at night, many times. The sky seems clearest there - one of my favorite places to be, on any continent. (That's only a guess though, as sadly, I haven't left the shores of North America.)
It seemed to have less structure than "Ashes." (Even though it is still that "Haiku de renga" style, there seemed to be a rhyming scheme in "Ashes" whereas this one did not have that.) ((Maybe I'm seeing things))
A bit short, could have had a few more haikus attached to it, if you feel so inclined. But it depends on the effect you're going for. It was all past tense - it seems like a distant, beautiful, but isolated memory. And it fit the mood of the painting. So I don't see a need for more words.
Those are my thoughts. Good job.
- Caleb
"Don't treat your common sense like an umbrella. When you come into a room to philosophize, don't leave it outside, but bring it in with you." Wittgenstein
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The rationale behind haiku for me is that hopefully 'less is more' - although I appreciate that some people might think that less is actually less.
Yes, I do seem to have a bit of a Munch thing going on, which I'm not sure is entirely healthy. I've always found his stuff to be rather troubling which is probably the reason why I can find words for it.
You're right Caleb there is a rhyme in Ashes - 'despair' and 'hair' - but it was purely unintentional.
Cheers
Cam
ps welcome to the forum Sean. Look forward to seeing more of your contributions.
Yes, I do seem to have a bit of a Munch thing going on, which I'm not sure is entirely healthy. I've always found his stuff to be rather troubling which is probably the reason why I can find words for it.
You're right Caleb there is a rhyme in Ashes - 'despair' and 'hair' - but it was purely unintentional.
Cheers
Cam
ps welcome to the forum Sean. Look forward to seeing more of your contributions.
I don't think "The Scream" needs anything but I confess that I had never really paid any attention to this picture before this poem.
The Storm by Munch
http://www.earthforums.com/shopping/10023888.jpg
This is not the best picture (a little small, methinks) but shows the gist of the picture.
The Storm by Munch
http://www.earthforums.com/shopping/10023888.jpg
This is not the best picture (a little small, methinks) but shows the gist of the picture.
"Don't treat your common sense like an umbrella. When you come into a room to philosophize, don't leave it outside, but bring it in with you." Wittgenstein