Haiku Train

New to poetry? Unsure about the quality of your work? Then why not post here to receive some gentle feedback.
oranggunung
Preponderant Poster
Preponderant Poster
Posts: 1393
Joined: Tue Apr 10, 2007 9:15 pm
Location: Dublin, Ireland

Sun Apr 15, 2007 10:41 am

at the long mirror
Alice waited, patiently
seeking Wonderland
Heidi
Posts: 22
Joined: Mon Oct 23, 2006 5:04 pm

Sun Apr 15, 2007 4:34 pm

cheshire cat smiling
no worry in this glass world
time does not exist
juliadebeauvoir
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 2083
Joined: Wed Feb 01, 2006 2:42 am
Location: East of Eden

Mon Apr 16, 2007 12:31 pm

Time does not exist
for my son, late for classes,
misses the school bus.
"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you."
oranggunung
Preponderant Poster
Preponderant Poster
Posts: 1393
Joined: Tue Apr 10, 2007 9:15 pm
Location: Dublin, Ireland

Mon Apr 16, 2007 1:07 pm

misses the school bus
on every sunny morning
catching butterflies
juliadebeauvoir
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 2083
Joined: Wed Feb 01, 2006 2:42 am
Location: East of Eden

Mon Apr 16, 2007 2:02 pm

Catching butteflies,
should not be done with a mop,
squishy little things.
"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you."
oranggunung
Preponderant Poster
Preponderant Poster
Posts: 1393
Joined: Tue Apr 10, 2007 9:15 pm
Location: Dublin, Ireland

Mon Apr 16, 2007 4:19 pm

squishy little things
bursting; squirting chitterlings
between my fingers
kozmikdave
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 2185
Joined: Sun Jun 25, 2006 9:36 am
Location: Brisbane, Australia

Mon Apr 16, 2007 9:28 pm

between my fingers
an imaginary fag
discolours my skin
Cheers
Dave

"And I'm lost, and I'm lost
I'm lost at the bottom of the world
I'm handcuffed to the bishop and the barbershop liar
I'm lost at the bottom of the world
"
[Tom]
oranggunung
Preponderant Poster
Preponderant Poster
Posts: 1393
Joined: Tue Apr 10, 2007 9:15 pm
Location: Dublin, Ireland

Mon Apr 16, 2007 9:39 pm

discolours my skin
as it dribbles down my chin
sweet juicy mango
User avatar
Jester
Preponderant Poster
Preponderant Poster
Posts: 1139
Joined: Tue Jun 13, 2006 4:35 pm
antispam: no
Location: Manchester, England
Contact:

Tue Apr 17, 2007 8:08 pm

sweet juicy mango
into a bar and say "What
the fruit you doin?"
Just because you're paranoid it doesn't mean they're not out to get you.
oranggunung
Preponderant Poster
Preponderant Poster
Posts: 1393
Joined: Tue Apr 10, 2007 9:15 pm
Location: Dublin, Ireland

Tue Apr 17, 2007 9:54 pm

the fruit you doin'?
you pullin' my strawberry?
you nickin' my cream?
kozmikdave
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 2185
Joined: Sun Jun 25, 2006 9:36 am
Location: Brisbane, Australia

Wed Apr 18, 2007 6:06 am

You nickin' my cream?
You crazy cat - Cheshire smile
and full of jivin'.
Cheers
Dave

"And I'm lost, and I'm lost
I'm lost at the bottom of the world
I'm handcuffed to the bishop and the barbershop liar
I'm lost at the bottom of the world
"
[Tom]
oranggunung
Preponderant Poster
Preponderant Poster
Posts: 1393
Joined: Tue Apr 10, 2007 9:15 pm
Location: Dublin, Ireland

Wed Apr 18, 2007 6:17 pm

and full of jivin'
Cab Calloway went moochin'
off into the night
User avatar
twoleftfeet
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 6761
Joined: Wed Dec 07, 2005 4:02 pm
Location: Standing by a short pier, looking for a long run-up

Thu Apr 19, 2007 9:38 am

Off into the night
flew Batman as Spiderman's
slugs filled the dank air
.
.
.
Charles
Prolific Poster
Prolific Poster
Posts: 282
Joined: Sat Dec 09, 2006 10:06 pm
Location: Reading, England

Fri Apr 20, 2007 8:19 am

slugs filled the dank air
infusing the heavy dew
with inherit grime.
User avatar
twoleftfeet
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 6761
Joined: Wed Dec 07, 2005 4:02 pm
Location: Standing by a short pier, looking for a long run-up

Fri Apr 20, 2007 10:42 am

With inherent grime
coupled with exploding crime
Gotham City stinks
.
.
.
.
oranggunung
Preponderant Poster
Preponderant Poster
Posts: 1393
Joined: Tue Apr 10, 2007 9:15 pm
Location: Dublin, Ireland

Fri Apr 20, 2007 12:08 pm

Gotham City stinks
but the street sweepers are out
Batman and Robin
cameron
Site Admin
Site Admin
Posts: 2162
Joined: Thu May 27, 2004 6:45 pm
antispam: no
Location: Norfolk 'n' Good

Fri Apr 20, 2007 12:26 pm

Batman and Robin
Out robbing; Robin and Bat-
Man still in batting.
User avatar
twoleftfeet
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 6761
Joined: Wed Dec 07, 2005 4:02 pm
Location: Standing by a short pier, looking for a long run-up

Sat Apr 21, 2007 8:58 am

Man still in batting
and the score is one for one -
D'Artagnan's bowling
.
.
.
oranggunung
Preponderant Poster
Preponderant Poster
Posts: 1393
Joined: Tue Apr 10, 2007 9:15 pm
Location: Dublin, Ireland

Sat Apr 21, 2007 4:52 pm

D'Artagnan's bowling
(compliments and flatteries)
a maiden over
Charles
Prolific Poster
Prolific Poster
Posts: 282
Joined: Sat Dec 09, 2006 10:06 pm
Location: Reading, England

Sun Apr 22, 2007 3:42 pm

a maiden over
the nasty sty, fell backward
she alone could lie
Bombadil
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 2672
Joined: Mon Dec 06, 2004 6:38 pm
Location: The hills are my home, the mountains where I roam.
Contact:

Sun Apr 22, 2007 8:01 pm

she alone could lie
on a bed festering with
paltry pretentions.
Charles
Prolific Poster
Prolific Poster
Posts: 282
Joined: Sat Dec 09, 2006 10:06 pm
Location: Reading, England

Mon Apr 23, 2007 5:23 pm

Paltry Pretensions
Quietly Queue Queensbury Quagmire
Realising Revenge
juliadebeauvoir
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 2083
Joined: Wed Feb 01, 2006 2:42 am
Location: East of Eden

Tue Apr 24, 2007 1:31 pm

Realising revenge
was a possibility,
Wayne hid her car keys.
"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you."
cameron
Site Admin
Site Admin
Posts: 2162
Joined: Thu May 27, 2004 6:45 pm
antispam: no
Location: Norfolk 'n' Good

Tue Apr 24, 2007 1:46 pm

Wayne hid her car keys,
Then climbed into the saddle
And rode off backwards.
User avatar
twoleftfeet
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 6761
Joined: Wed Dec 07, 2005 4:02 pm
Location: Standing by a short pier, looking for a long run-up

Tue Apr 24, 2007 2:00 pm

And rode off backwards
into the Rising Sun on
her Japanese bike
.
.
.
Post Reply