Inspired by a Postcard: Lago di Como

[Famous.Bleu.Raincoat]

Inspired by a Postcard: Lago di Como


Our apartment is halfway up
the mountain. We frequent the balcony
and dip our eyes in lake frost left over
from night. Leftovers were a rich
meal shortened by hot beverage. Wish
you were here. I wish I could say we miss
you. Truly home is enjoyably far away
and work can only be felt in tired muscles
but we run & play & swim and replace
the ache. Will write soon. I write from
Stuart's family home: collectable spoons in
glass cabinets, spare rooms kept airless,
water beds - every room - water beds
and the cat sleeps as if floating on a milk
dream. Looking forward to seeing you all.
'Don't dream it’s over' on the mp3. I regret
the absence of souvenirs in my suitcase,
no one will believe we actually flew for a
while / the flight attendant handles my name
'carefully' but the pilot is wing-tough. New
msg: Sorry crew, can't make drinks, jet-
lagged, Stuarts got flu, I promise that I brought
you all nothing, I've nothing more to tell / can't
wait to tell you all about the trip, gifts all-
round /see you Monday a.m. hope you're all
well. I hope the sea receives my landing.

~

[Duncan Williams.]

Nice piece of work, enjoyed this greatly... The cat sleeps as if floating on milk. i like that line. Kind Regards. Duncan.

[Famous.Bleu.Raincoat]

Thank you Duncan, appreciate you reading and commenting.

Melanie

[David]

Melanie, italics in a poem about Italy! Clever! Tell me you didn't mean it.

Anyway, so they're the postcard. The rest is the subtext, is it? I don't understand the final line, in that case. Sounds a bit doom-laden.

I do very much like We frequent the balcony / and dip our eyes in lake frost left over / from night.

Who is Stuart? I know we're supposed to ask ourselves that, but I found it frustrating not to have that answer more clearly by the end - your other half?

the cat sleeps as if floating on a milk / dream - another great phrase.

I like the idea of this, that it's just something triggered by a random postcard. no deeper meanings (eh?) - it is what it is. Isn't it?

A fun thing anyway.

Cheers

David

[azathoth]

maybe its my fault, but whenever i read something written in this way (with something said and something that wasnt said) I look for some consistency or continuity between them. In this case I was looking for more of an idea of who the writer and recipient were based on what could be said and what couldnt in the letter. I also figured that if the poem had some larger theme or a more abstract idea behind it then I would understand it better by understanding this.
However I really couldnt find a consistent reason for why some things were said and why some weren't, especially confusing in context with the rest of the poem were the lines:
"promise that I brought
you all nothing, I've nothing more to tell / can't
wait to tell you all about the trip, gifts all-
round /see you Monday a.m. hope you're all
well. I hope the sea receives my landing."
I cant see why these things would be said in context with what wasnt said earlier.
I can't get an idea of what the poems doing,
sorry, cuz the writing is pretty great, and some lines really stand out,
maybe if you just fix that part in the end it will seems much more congruent.
anyways good poem

[Famous.Bleu.Raincoat]

Thanks guys, just mulling over your comments. Some excellent advice/direction for me to consider. Cheers for the time and thought.
Melanie.

[emuse]

Is that Melanie also Zef?

Very nice indeed. I would eliminate the postcard reference and just title the poem: Lagi de Como

and then:

Lago di Como

Our apartment is halfway up
the mountain. We frequent the balcony
and dip our eyes in lake frost left over
from night. Leftovers were a rich
meal shortened by hot beverage. Wish
you were here. I wish I could say we miss
you. Truly home is enjoyably far away
and work can only be felt in tired muscles
but we run & play & swim and replace
the ache. Will write soon. I write from
Stuart's family home: collectable spoons in
glass cabinets, spare rooms kept airless,
water beds - every room - water beds
and the cat sleeps as if floating on a milk
dream. Looking forward to seeing you all.
'Don't dream it’s over' on the mp3. I regret
the absence of souvenirs in my suitcase,
no one will believe we actually flew.

Consider this end. I like the last line but want it to connect a little more. Love the cat floating on a milk dream and the wonderful beginning lines. This is like an espitolary. At least it is to me

e