The Abbe Mugnier was once asked whether he believed in hell. "Yes, because it is a dogma of the church," he replied, "but I don't believe there is anyone in it."
All are invited. All
will enjoy the party. Some
say thanks for the invitation.
They are spared the initial awkwardness,
the awareness of ingratitude.
This passes. The host is gracious,
and all will enjoy the party.
The invitation
Sorry to be a git, David, but this poem doesn't impress me like the brilliant epigraph does. I like a poem to shine after an epigraph, but I think this is drowned out by it.
The poem, for me, is more of a thought than anything else I'm afraid. Whilst the lightness of some of your other pieces really help the subject, this just feels too whimsical to be taken seriously (good christ, that sounds rather brutal doesn't it? All in critical spirit, I assure you!).
Cheers
Dave
The poem, for me, is more of a thought than anything else I'm afraid. Whilst the lightness of some of your other pieces really help the subject, this just feels too whimsical to be taken seriously (good christ, that sounds rather brutal doesn't it? All in critical spirit, I assure you!).
Cheers
Dave
David,
Enjoyed the relaxed manner of this - and this was the major problem for me...its a bit like a paper tiger...no bite....nothing that hits you in the face...
Nevertheless...enjoyed...
My favourite:
They are spared the initial awkwardness,
the awareness of ingratitude.
Enjoyed the relaxed manner of this - and this was the major problem for me...its a bit like a paper tiger...no bite....nothing that hits you in the face...
Nevertheless...enjoyed...
My favourite:
They are spared the initial awkwardness,
the awareness of ingratitude.
Sorry to go off track, but that just cracked me up! Funny.David wrote: Thanks guys. Needs work, or possibly just abandonment.
David my son, I think I can feel where you wanted this to go, but I gotta (just gotta) say that it don't quite get there. It reads like a small section of a rough script, but in a bad way.
Sorry, I'm pressed for time and the well's a little dry these days anyway. So...
Yes, I think this is bad. But don't feel bad, I'm in the same boat.
To make you feel at ease, I'm posting last night's "work". I will however be creative about it. I'll call it...NOTES...
EDIT - "don't" was intentional. You know, for those of you who think I haven't got a friggin' clue.
Thanks, Travis. This is a perfectly decent boat to be in.
This may come out sounding wrong, but it's been a while since I posted something that was unanimously acclaimed as something, just, not very good. Bad, even. It's quite bracing. Like walkin' in the rain ...
Cheers
David
This may come out sounding wrong, but it's been a while since I posted something that was unanimously acclaimed as something, just, not very good. Bad, even. It's quite bracing. Like walkin' in the rain ...
Cheers
David
-
- Preponderant Poster
- Posts: 1393
- Joined: Tue Apr 10, 2007 9:15 pm
- Location: Dublin, Ireland
Ahh, the things you do for love.