Bookmarks (slight edit)
"Is that the time?" she yawned,
cobwebs and all.
Glasses folded and book marked,
she sank, with her usual sigh,
into the squeak of her leather chair.
"Is that the time?" he said,
hood and all,
arms folded,
and her life’s book
marked.
cobwebs and all.
Glasses folded and book marked,
she sank, with her usual sigh,
into the squeak of her leather chair.
"Is that the time?" he said,
hood and all,
arms folded,
and her life’s book
marked.
After letting go of branches and walking through the ape gait, we managed to grasp what hands were really for......
Barrie
Wonderful vignette. I like the way you have conjoured up a sense of gravitas. The piece has substance and is whole.
It's very cute how you have the woman's well-worn routine unexpectedly and casually ended by the well-worn routine of the grim reaper.
Ah, little does she know...
We are not worthy!
Wonderful vignette. I like the way you have conjoured up a sense of gravitas. The piece has substance and is whole.
It's very cute how you have the woman's well-worn routine unexpectedly and casually ended by the well-worn routine of the grim reaper.
Is this not an allusion to an undisturbed life?David wrote:What's with the cobwebs?
Ah, little does she know...
We are not worthy!
"This is going to be a damn masterpiece, when I finish dis..." - Poeterry
barrie
Very tightly written with the below excellent - the glasses and the book, the sigh and the squeak really play off each other.
Glasses folded and book marked,
she sank, with her usual sigh,
into the squeak of her leather chair.
Others have linked this to the Grim Reaper. On first reading I saw the Red Riding Hood story. I think it was the hood, the book and the allusion to the childhood game Whats the time Mr Wolf?. One and the same theme though perhaps.
I am not entirely getting the cobwebs.
Nice one
Elphin
Very tightly written with the below excellent - the glasses and the book, the sigh and the squeak really play off each other.
Glasses folded and book marked,
she sank, with her usual sigh,
into the squeak of her leather chair.
Others have linked this to the Grim Reaper. On first reading I saw the Red Riding Hood story. I think it was the hood, the book and the allusion to the childhood game Whats the time Mr Wolf?. One and the same theme though perhaps.
I am not entirely getting the cobwebs.
Nice one
Elphin
I took cobwebs to be a fuzzy head, brought on by sleep and old age. You have to compare it with its counterpart in S2. The hood is a constituent element of the reaper, and so the cobwebs must be a constituent element of the old lady. And in that sense we can take it further than the effects of sleepiness to the effects of old age, of being tired in life. Else she wouldn't accept death so nonchalantly.
For what I'm getting out of it, I have nothing critical to say. And there's nothing technical to pick on, not to me anyway.
I like it.
For what I'm getting out of it, I have nothing critical to say. And there's nothing technical to pick on, not to me anyway.
I like it.
- camus
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There's me thinking it was about a "hoody" ready to kick the living shit out of a poor old woman. Perhaps because she pulled a "Miss Haversham" on him, still, no excuse for maydur.
I'm guessing I'm wrong!
Has a Tales of the Unexpected feel about it.
good stuff.
Kris
I'm guessing I'm wrong!
Has a Tales of the Unexpected feel about it.
good stuff.
Kris
http://www.closetpoet.co.uk
Hi All
I haven't been here for ages, just popped back in to nose around and this reminded me what I've been missing, must visit more. Anyway...
very efficient peice, no wasted lines and makes every word count. The cobwebs for me are a combination of grey mustyness, a life that has become unmoving, maybe also that cobweb of grey hair and wrinkles that can come with age.
shouldn't the question mark in S2 be removed.
Binz
I haven't been here for ages, just popped back in to nose around and this reminded me what I've been missing, must visit more. Anyway...
very efficient peice, no wasted lines and makes every word count. The cobwebs for me are a combination of grey mustyness, a life that has become unmoving, maybe also that cobweb of grey hair and wrinkles that can come with age.
shouldn't the question mark in S2 be removed.
Binz
If you want to fly, you must first spread your wings.
Nice one, David - Yes , it was my great aunt Arachne.David wrote:What's with the cobwebs? Not a relation of yours, is she, Barrie?
I'm glad that most of you got an image from the cobwebs thing.
Doesn't say much for the state of our society when the Grim Reaper gets mistaken for a thug in a hood - but I can see why (maybe it was the Rolex watch!).
Nice to see you back, Binz - Are you going to start paying regular visits again (I mean to PG).
Thanks everyone for the feedback.
To get back to the cobwebs - My grandmother stayed with us for a couple of years when she was in her eighties. She had a habit of reading and then going to sleep in the chair. My father used to say, "Go and wake your Grandma up before them bloody cobwebs choke her." - she snored as well.
cheers all
Barrie
After letting go of branches and walking through the ape gait, we managed to grasp what hands were really for......
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Wow! If it helps to have another thought, I had no confusion--the bookend was clear to me and the latter a complete surprise. I love the line break on
book
marked.
It tells you how meaningful one little break can be.
Give me a break will you?
e
book
marked.
It tells you how meaningful one little break can be.
Give me a break will you?
e
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I think I preferred the original title (Chapter's End) which implied there was something to follow.
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love the pun/enjambment on book/marked. and a nice conceit connecting the closing of the book with death, even though it's an old image. you do enough with it to breath fresh life into the image.
why not have the hooded figure repeat the old woman's initial "is that the time?" i thought "is it that time" sounded a little strained.
why not have the hooded figure repeat the old woman's initial "is that the time?" i thought "is it that time" sounded a little strained.
Thanks e
Geoff - I used Bookmarks because it linked both books - Besides, I don't believe in an afterlife - Just imagine, being woken up every night for eternity by that bloody Cerberus barking!
Dill - I may just change that quotation.
Thanks all
Barrie
Geoff - I used Bookmarks because it linked both books - Besides, I don't believe in an afterlife - Just imagine, being woken up every night for eternity by that bloody Cerberus barking!
Dill - I may just change that quotation.
Thanks all
Barrie
After letting go of branches and walking through the ape gait, we managed to grasp what hands were really for......
I, too, like the word play of 'bookmarks' in the poem. It is such a tight poem with all the elements in it, the atmosphere, the talk, the sound of the chair, the old age...
I once wrote a poem with the same title, after reading this, I feel like to shred it.
I once wrote a poem with the same title, after reading this, I feel like to shred it.
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Bazaroo,
Oooo . . . death-like and cold, Sir. Rather nice, though.
Creeeeeeeeeeping up on you, shit it just occured to me I've smoked 20 today and should probably read something, NOW!.
Superb! Sorry nothing more constructive, surely one for the done pile, if ever I've seen one.
Beau
x
Oooo . . . death-like and cold, Sir. Rather nice, though.
Creeeeeeeeeeping up on you, shit it just occured to me I've smoked 20 today and should probably read something, NOW!.
Superb! Sorry nothing more constructive, surely one for the done pile, if ever I've seen one.
Beau
x
I'm sick of it, sick of it all. I know I'm right and I don't give a shit!
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Lovely little setch of a theme that is often over-romanticised.barrie wrote:"Is that the time?" she yawned,
cobwebs and all.
Glasses folded and book marked,
she sank, with her usual sigh,
into the squeak of her leather chair.
"Is that the time?" he said,
hood and all,
arms folded,
and her life’s book
marked.
Saw Lennie Henry once - reminded me of one of his jokes (in character as Decos). [On stage talking to audience]
And then Death said enough! and held up this big ol' egg timer, and said"Decos, the sands of your time are up" I said "That was a long three minutes......... Wouldn't want to be one of your boiled eggs...."
Gareth
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Surely a more appropriate link to the second stanza is Old father Time, no?
I liked squeak of her leather chair but by compacting the images and cutting filler, phrases like 'and all', you could fit much more into this.
The title is similar to 'Bookends' by Tony Harrison, have you read that? You seem to be coming from the same place with it.
I liked squeak of her leather chair but by compacting the images and cutting filler, phrases like 'and all', you could fit much more into this.
The title is similar to 'Bookends' by Tony Harrison, have you read that? You seem to be coming from the same place with it.
Thanks Lake - Don't shred or get rid of any of your poems, you'll only regret it - I did (do).
Beau, Gareth - Thanks for your comments - always appreciated.
I've read 'Bookends', but it was a while ago. I seem to remember it being about the relationship between a father and son in the light of the death of the wife/mother - the bookends being representative of their differences, or what they had between them - books.
Thanks for your thoughts, and again, welcome to PG.
cheers all
Barrie
Beau, Gareth - Thanks for your comments - always appreciated.
Old Father Time is usually associated with New Year - This is the Medieval personification of death, the Grim Reaper, who appears to be a combination of Hermes (who conducts souls) and one of the Fates, Atropos, who cuts the thread of life.The Forger wrote:Surely a more appropriate link to the second stanza is Old father Time, no?
I've read 'Bookends', but it was a while ago. I seem to remember it being about the relationship between a father and son in the light of the death of the wife/mother - the bookends being representative of their differences, or what they had between them - books.
Thanks for your thoughts, and again, welcome to PG.
cheers all
Barrie
After letting go of branches and walking through the ape gait, we managed to grasp what hands were really for......
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Colorful vignette without too much elaboration. Though I'm not sure that the cobwebs part is needed.Glasses folded and book marked,
she sank, with her usual sigh,
into the squeak of her leather chair.
I liked 'her usual sigh',--must have been a real bore.
As Woody Allen said, "I'm not afraid of death. I just don't want to be there when it happens!"
Nice, tight little poem. Good one.
Cheers,
Kim
"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you."
Thanks Kim -
cheers
Barrie
I'm quite attached to cobwebs, you know.juliadebeauvoir wrote:I'm not sure that the cobwebs part is needed.
cheers
Barrie
After letting go of branches and walking through the ape gait, we managed to grasp what hands were really for......