A Martyr

[pseud]

At five, a timid gentleman,
by the copper fountain,
collects the wheelchairs
for the daily sick.
The nurses sip their lattes
and read delivered papers
by quarter to six.

A doctor's errand man,
his piglet frame and mouse-like
eyes stare silent on a hard armchair,
after all the morning runs
of packages and plants, and patients
to their rides. Boils
on his pale handbacks
contrast the patch of white
on an aching forehead
he slowly scratches.

Brighter still hangs his jacket
proudly labeled 'Senior Volunteer.'
Never married, never young,
he retired out of fear.
Loudly clanging ringtones
in a baige and amber office
command his patient ear.
The receiver hides his coiled
scar, the cartilige footprint
of a careless transportee
and the door of a car.

[rasputin]

some well presented observations i think, especially:


'his piglet frame and mouse-like
eyes stare silent on a hard armchair'

and..

'The receiver hides his coiled
scar, the cartilige footprint
of..'

but..

'Never married, never young,
he retired out of fear.'

a bit subjective maybe?

although I think it represents the eeriness of hospitals very effectively..

good job

atb

raps.

[azathoth]

yes this Does capture the eery quality of the hospital, but it is the man ,neither doomed nor auspiced in his life, who has achieved no greater or lesser point then a crumbling fixture in hospital and poem that is the focus. he is observed with insultingly light details remarked upon, as demonstrated by the casually petty scar which partly defines him. yet the mode of his portrayal lends a tragic and hauntingly ephemeral quality to his existance; here is a man who would tend to be ignored, inspite of his possible or definite history.
this would seem to be a character piece. but is it more? i shall not continue with the blind confidence of a navigator bereft of stars or compass (e.g. a critic) and look for a subtle meaning in the poem. infinite hope, however, forces me to believe in one.
cool poem pseudo