Morning Drifts In

New to poetry? Unsure about the quality of your work? Then why not post here to receive some gentle feedback.
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Travis
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Fri Jul 11, 2008 4:15 am

sweet
mossy
seagull harping
wind flapping neighbor's plastic
taste the fog
mmmmm
There's only one rule in street and bar fights: maximum violence, instantly. (Martin Amis, "Money")
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Fri Jul 11, 2008 4:54 am

And?
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Danté
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Fri Jul 11, 2008 7:23 pm

Nice action packed little snapshot, does it for me

Adios Amigo

Danté
to anticipate touching what is unseen seems far more interesting than seeing what the hand can not touch
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barrie
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Sat Jul 12, 2008 10:18 am

Reminds me of a Japanese taste-the-moment poem that I've spent the last few hours searching for, without success - that had a mmmm in it, or some other sound with similar meaning.
wind flapping neighbor's plastic - I like the contrast here.

nice one

Barrie
After letting go of branches and walking through the ape gait, we managed to grasp what hands were really for......
dl04
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Sat Jul 12, 2008 2:36 pm

I must say it's not really to my taste, it just seems like an odd arrangement of words that is purely descriptive. Maybe i'm totally underestimating the style here, but it doesnt 'pop' for me. I'm not getting anything other than the obvious, so not my cup of tea really i'm afraid.

I'm a stanza kind of person unfortunately :lol:
' Everybody's saying that hell's the hippest way to go, well i dont think so but i'm gonna take a look around'

-Joni Mitchell
Lake
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Sat Jul 12, 2008 6:58 pm

mmmmm, fresh mood, cute. wind flapping neighbor's plastic added some sense of modernity to it .

These days I only sing la-la-la.
arunansu
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Sat Jul 19, 2008 10:24 am

Nice images.
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