Haiku Train

New to poetry? Unsure about the quality of your work? Then why not post here to receive some gentle feedback.
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Lake
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Posts: 2294
Joined: Fri Jun 08, 2007 4:55 pm
Location: Sky Blue Waters

Tue Oct 07, 2008 7:40 pm

I thought it was bread
you need. Now you ask for milk.
Tell me, what’s the next?
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Raisin
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Posts: 1028
Joined: Thu Aug 07, 2008 8:08 pm
Location: The land of daffodils and leeks

Tue Oct 07, 2008 8:05 pm

Tell me, what's the next?
Gold, silver, blood red rubies,
dripping from my throat.
In the beginning there was nothing, and it exploded. (Terry Pratchett on the Big Bang Theory)
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Ladyhawk
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Posts: 68
Joined: Thu Sep 25, 2008 8:55 pm

Tue Oct 07, 2008 8:31 pm

dripping from my throat.
hiccuped and spouted a frog
he croaked a new line
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Raisin
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Posts: 1028
Joined: Thu Aug 07, 2008 8:08 pm
Location: The land of daffodils and leeks

Tue Oct 07, 2008 9:00 pm

He croaked a new line,
because the previous one
had long since burned out
In the beginning there was nothing, and it exploded. (Terry Pratchett on the Big Bang Theory)
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Raisin
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Posts: 1028
Joined: Thu Aug 07, 2008 8:08 pm
Location: The land of daffodils and leeks

Thu Oct 09, 2008 8:31 pm

Had long since burned out,
like the sparkle in your eye
that used to greet me
In the beginning there was nothing, and it exploded. (Terry Pratchett on the Big Bang Theory)
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Ladyhawk
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Posts: 68
Joined: Thu Sep 25, 2008 8:55 pm

Thu Oct 09, 2008 11:41 pm

that used to greet me
like rampant smelling fish
do you get my drift?
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TDF
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Posts: 607
Joined: Fri Feb 29, 2008 3:25 pm
Location: Londinium

Fri Oct 10, 2008 5:42 pm

"do you get my drift?"
said the river to the sea.
"I'm all tide up here!"
meh and bah are wonderful words
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Raisin
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Posts: 1028
Joined: Thu Aug 07, 2008 8:08 pm
Location: The land of daffodils and leeks

Fri Oct 10, 2008 6:29 pm

"I'm all tide up here!"
and the sea to the river
"come and surf later"
In the beginning there was nothing, and it exploded. (Terry Pratchett on the Big Bang Theory)
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Danté
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Posts: 2022
Joined: Mon Jul 07, 2008 6:40 pm
Location: nothere

Sat Oct 11, 2008 9:16 am

come and surf later,
the sea is spakling brightly,
my eyes reflect that.
to anticipate touching what is unseen seems far more interesting than seeing what the hand can not touch
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Raisin
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Posts: 1028
Joined: Thu Aug 07, 2008 8:08 pm
Location: The land of daffodils and leeks

Sat Oct 11, 2008 9:20 am

my eyes reflect that
the sea is spakling?
Sparkling as well then
In the beginning there was nothing, and it exploded. (Terry Pratchett on the Big Bang Theory)
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TDF
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Posts: 607
Joined: Fri Feb 29, 2008 3:25 pm
Location: Londinium

Sat Oct 11, 2008 4:31 pm

Sparkling as well, then
somehow becoming so dull.
Don't buy cheap glitter.
meh and bah are wonderful words
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Danté
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Posts: 2022
Joined: Mon Jul 07, 2008 6:40 pm
Location: nothere

Sat Oct 11, 2008 4:51 pm

Don't buy cheap glitter
it irritates my shaved legs
and makes me look cheap.
to anticipate touching what is unseen seems far more interesting than seeing what the hand can not touch
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Raisin
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Location: The land of daffodils and leeks

Sat Oct 11, 2008 5:12 pm

and makes me look cheap.
Instead, I will buy diamonds
and then, glue them on
In the beginning there was nothing, and it exploded. (Terry Pratchett on the Big Bang Theory)
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Danté
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Joined: Mon Jul 07, 2008 6:40 pm
Location: nothere

Sat Oct 11, 2008 5:58 pm

and then, glue them on?
Ah, but when you take them off
you will regret it.
to anticipate touching what is unseen seems far more interesting than seeing what the hand can not touch
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Raisin
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Posts: 1028
Joined: Thu Aug 07, 2008 8:08 pm
Location: The land of daffodils and leeks

Sat Oct 11, 2008 6:35 pm

you will regret it,
because the pain that you feel
will not disappear
In the beginning there was nothing, and it exploded. (Terry Pratchett on the Big Bang Theory)
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sneaker
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Posts: 164
Joined: Mon Jun 16, 2008 4:53 pm
Location: SW France

Sat Oct 11, 2008 7:41 pm

will not disappear
like a lover in the dark
of a coming storm.
"You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need. " M.Jagger
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Raisin
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Posts: 1028
Joined: Thu Aug 07, 2008 8:08 pm
Location: The land of daffodils and leeks

Sat Oct 11, 2008 7:47 pm

Of a coming storm,
of swirling clouds that gather,
like fire in the wind.
In the beginning there was nothing, and it exploded. (Terry Pratchett on the Big Bang Theory)
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Danté
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Posts: 2022
Joined: Mon Jul 07, 2008 6:40 pm
Location: nothere

Sun Oct 12, 2008 9:02 am

like fire in the wind
its arc ignites the tinder
followed by a clap.
to anticipate touching what is unseen seems far more interesting than seeing what the hand can not touch
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Raisin
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Posts: 1028
Joined: Thu Aug 07, 2008 8:08 pm
Location: The land of daffodils and leeks

Sun Oct 12, 2008 9:05 am

followed by a clap,
of thunder, the hands of giants,
cheering performance.
In the beginning there was nothing, and it exploded. (Terry Pratchett on the Big Bang Theory)
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sneaker
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Posts: 164
Joined: Mon Jun 16, 2008 4:53 pm
Location: SW France

Sun Oct 12, 2008 9:12 am

cheering performance
the trees thresh and tower
over the drama.
"You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need. " M.Jagger
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Raisin
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Posts: 1028
Joined: Thu Aug 07, 2008 8:08 pm
Location: The land of daffodils and leeks

Sun Oct 12, 2008 9:19 am

over the drama,
swords clatter and sparks fly over
leaves, daring to ignite
In the beginning there was nothing, and it exploded. (Terry Pratchett on the Big Bang Theory)
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sneaker
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Posts: 164
Joined: Mon Jun 16, 2008 4:53 pm
Location: SW France

Sun Oct 12, 2008 9:22 am

leaves, daring to ignite
bonfires on hilltops, blazing
a beacon tonight
"You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need. " M.Jagger
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Raisin
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Posts: 1028
Joined: Thu Aug 07, 2008 8:08 pm
Location: The land of daffodils and leeks

Sun Oct 12, 2008 9:29 am

a beacon tonight
then a warning tomorrow
Fawkes is on the scene
In the beginning there was nothing, and it exploded. (Terry Pratchett on the Big Bang Theory)
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oranggunung
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Posts: 1393
Joined: Tue Apr 10, 2007 9:15 pm
Location: Dublin, Ireland

Sun Oct 12, 2008 10:14 am

Fawkes is on the scene
and Catherine wheels overhead,
reeking of sulphur
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Raisin
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Posts: 1028
Joined: Thu Aug 07, 2008 8:08 pm
Location: The land of daffodils and leeks

Sun Oct 12, 2008 11:05 am

reeking of sulphur,
he and others crawl under
the festivities
In the beginning there was nothing, and it exploded. (Terry Pratchett on the Big Bang Theory)
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