Haiku Train

New to poetry? Unsure about the quality of your work? Then why not post here to receive some gentle feedback.
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barrie
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Thu Oct 23, 2008 6:04 pm

The bells on his hat
weighed heavy on his mind - they'd
dropped from the belfry.
After letting go of branches and walking through the ape gait, we managed to grasp what hands were really for......
Lake
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Fri Oct 24, 2008 3:32 am

Dropped from the belfry,
lifted to Niagara Falls -
shaky stock market.
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Raisin
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Fri Oct 24, 2008 2:05 pm

Shaky stock market.
Trembling in fear as money
has become worthless.
In the beginning there was nothing, and it exploded. (Terry Pratchett on the Big Bang Theory)
Suzanne
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Fri Oct 24, 2008 5:05 pm

"has become worthless"
was craved into his headstone
just as he'd ordered.
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Danté
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Sat Oct 25, 2008 10:15 am

just as he'd ordered
it is complete with all parts
that we now combine.
to anticipate touching what is unseen seems far more interesting than seeing what the hand can not touch
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Raisin
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Sat Oct 25, 2008 10:23 am

That we now combine
to make one epiphany.
"we have the answer!"
In the beginning there was nothing, and it exploded. (Terry Pratchett on the Big Bang Theory)
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barrie
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Sat Oct 25, 2008 10:38 am

"We have the answer
to unlock eternal youth."
said the grey old man.
After letting go of branches and walking through the ape gait, we managed to grasp what hands were really for......
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Raisin
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Sat Oct 25, 2008 10:53 am

said the grey old man,
as he gazed at the mirror,
reflecting his life.
In the beginning there was nothing, and it exploded. (Terry Pratchett on the Big Bang Theory)
Suzanne
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Sat Oct 25, 2008 2:32 pm

reflecting on his life
a man may gain much insight;
time can be a friend.
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Raisin
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Sat Oct 25, 2008 3:56 pm

Time can be a friend,
but he can also be an
enemy. Watch out.
In the beginning there was nothing, and it exploded. (Terry Pratchett on the Big Bang Theory)
Suzanne
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Sat Oct 25, 2008 4:26 pm

"Enemy. watch out!"
said mother diving below,
gun now in her hand.
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Raisin
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Sun Oct 26, 2008 10:35 am

gun in her hand,
she raised it, hands trembling.
Grave mistake, she fired.
In the beginning there was nothing, and it exploded. (Terry Pratchett on the Big Bang Theory)
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barrie
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Sun Oct 26, 2008 11:27 am

Grave mistake. She fired
the gun pointing the wrong way.
Verdict: suicide.
After letting go of branches and walking through the ape gait, we managed to grasp what hands were really for......
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Raisin
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Sun Oct 26, 2008 12:01 pm

Verdict: suicide.
The others shook their heads, "no".
She wasn't like that.
In the beginning there was nothing, and it exploded. (Terry Pratchett on the Big Bang Theory)
David
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Sun Oct 26, 2008 12:05 pm

She wasn't like that.
She wasn't like that at all.
She was more like this.
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barrie
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Sun Oct 26, 2008 12:16 pm

"She was more like this."
said the big, butch cross-dresser,
uncrossing herself.
After letting go of branches and walking through the ape gait, we managed to grasp what hands were really for......
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Raisin
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Sun Oct 26, 2008 12:19 pm

Uncrossing herself,
as she gave up religion
to seek other paths.
In the beginning there was nothing, and it exploded. (Terry Pratchett on the Big Bang Theory)
oranggunung
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Sun Oct 26, 2008 12:28 pm

To seek other paths,
one must choose a direction
and stay true to it.
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Raisin
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Sun Oct 26, 2008 12:37 pm

and stay true to it.
Maybe this was what she did?
To stay so untrue...
In the beginning there was nothing, and it exploded. (Terry Pratchett on the Big Bang Theory)
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Danté
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Sun Oct 26, 2008 2:25 pm

To stay so untrue...
becomes a burden always
to carry alone.
to anticipate touching what is unseen seems far more interesting than seeing what the hand can not touch
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Raisin
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Sun Oct 26, 2008 4:48 pm

To carry alone.
Weighing heavy on the heart,
the scales are measured.
In the beginning there was nothing, and it exploded. (Terry Pratchett on the Big Bang Theory)
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Danté
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Mon Oct 27, 2008 9:46 am

the scales are measured
in thoughts deliberated
and so it begins.
to anticipate touching what is unseen seems far more interesting than seeing what the hand can not touch
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barrie
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Mon Oct 27, 2008 9:49 am

And so it begins,
to go on wothout ending.
Why has it just stopped?
After letting go of branches and walking through the ape gait, we managed to grasp what hands were really for......
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Raisin
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Mon Oct 27, 2008 9:56 am

Why has it just stopped?
The clock is broken, smashed in,
by Hooks missing hand.
In the beginning there was nothing, and it exploded. (Terry Pratchett on the Big Bang Theory)
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Danté
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Mon Oct 27, 2008 10:02 am

by hooks missing hand
the book closes as he knows
rage of flowing tides
to anticipate touching what is unseen seems far more interesting than seeing what the hand can not touch
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