Spring

New to poetry? Unsure about the quality of your work? Then why not post here to receive some gentle feedback.
Post Reply
arunansu
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 2873
Joined: Sun Feb 11, 2007 3:01 pm
Location: INDIA
Contact:
Contact arunansu

Sun Jan 11, 2009 12:30 pm

blue butterflies
scrutinize my canvas,
a perfumed hankie
lies unattended
beside the empty chair

[ A Tanka Poem. ]
Top
karalma
Productive Poster
Productive Poster
Posts: 71
Joined: Tue Dec 30, 2008 9:56 pm

Sun Jan 11, 2009 3:29 pm

I liked the images in this but for me it was too short. I wanted to read more. I wasn't quite sure how the last 3 lines related to the title. Enjoyed. Thanks.
Top
User avatar
Danté
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 2022
Joined: Mon Jul 07, 2008 6:40 pm
Location: nothere

Mon Jan 12, 2009 5:48 pm

Nice one Aru

The pivotal line works well here, very enjoyable images.

all the best

Tim
to anticipate touching what is unseen seems far more interesting than seeing what the hand can not touch
Top
arunansu
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 2873
Joined: Sun Feb 11, 2007 3:01 pm
Location: INDIA
Contact:
Contact arunansu

Tue Jan 13, 2009 5:27 am

Thank you Karalma. Thanks Tim.
Top
Post Reply

Return to “Post-a-Poem (Beginners)”