She said she was CRAZY, would
Do anything for a laugh.
I put my penis in her hand
At the bar, she’s not crazy now!
More PEEVED I’d say………
I stared my cat out, into the cold;
He almost froze, won’t look me in the
Eye now, still meows at moths though!
Perhaps he won? I’ll think on………
That guy rang again asking for “Leon”
I assured him Leon was elsewhere
In the universe, he asked if I was sure?
I played him at his own game, checked
Under the sink, behind the bookcase
Kept him hanging on the line………
They had matching calf tattoos, British
Bulldogs. I politely enquired what they
Represent, they said, “Fuck all,” I said
“Oh, I presumed you were gay brothers”
I have a broken nose, not sure who won!
I saw the Merc knock the badger clear,
Felt car sick, pulled over, rose above
Disease and held its solid body in my
Arms.
A single trail of blood trickled from its ear
Efficiently clotting, a neat death.
Fastfuckingbastards.
Battling annoyance
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seeksthebalance
- Posts: 42
- Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 3:38 pm
- Location: Leicester
Some thing about the tone of this poem reminds me of the book One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich by Aleksandr Isaevich Solzhenitsyn.
Also The Stranger (the outsider) by Camus.
I think it is the sense of distance between the events and the person involved in them that you have captured well here.
My favourite lines are:
I stared my cat out, into the cold;
He almost froze, won’t look me in the
Eye now, still meows at moths though!
Perhaps he won? I’ll think on………
Cat owners the world over sympathise with this sentiment,
and also
rose above
Disease and held its solid body in my
Arms.
A single trail of blood trickled from its ear
Clotting, a neat death.
The part about the badger is really effective. So many of my peers are repulsed by wild animals both alive and dead, (perhaps some kind of instinctual thing) but to overcome that and share the silent moment of contact you describe here with a creature so vastly different and yet so similar wrenched at my heart strings. This perhaps is made more effective by the sense of distance established earlier in the poem, which is shattered by that momentary contact.
Thanks for sharing this one.
Seeks.
Also The Stranger (the outsider) by Camus.
I think it is the sense of distance between the events and the person involved in them that you have captured well here.
My favourite lines are:
I stared my cat out, into the cold;
He almost froze, won’t look me in the
Eye now, still meows at moths though!
Perhaps he won? I’ll think on………
Cat owners the world over sympathise with this sentiment,
and also
rose above
Disease and held its solid body in my
Arms.
A single trail of blood trickled from its ear
Clotting, a neat death.
The part about the badger is really effective. So many of my peers are repulsed by wild animals both alive and dead, (perhaps some kind of instinctual thing) but to overcome that and share the silent moment of contact you describe here with a creature so vastly different and yet so similar wrenched at my heart strings. This perhaps is made more effective by the sense of distance established earlier in the poem, which is shattered by that momentary contact.
Thanks for sharing this one.
Seeks.
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twelveoone
- Productive Poster
- Posts: 85
- Joined: Tue Aug 16, 2005 11:44 pm
I like this stanza structure, with the one line aside. (or the short line) It is a structure from comedy, but you are setting it up like: Joke - punch line, there is no unifying theme here. As, is it comes off as incoherent.
I stared my cat out, into the cold;
He almost froze, won’t look me in the
Eye now, still meows at moths though!
Perhaps he won? I’ll think on………
keep pushin the edge, I get tired of looking at blocks of "poetry"
I stared my cat out, into the cold;
He almost froze, won’t look me in the
Eye now, still meows at moths though!
Perhaps he won? I’ll think on………
keep pushin the edge, I get tired of looking at blocks of "poetry"
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camus
- Perspicacious Poster
- Posts: 5444
- Joined: Tue Jul 13, 2004 12:51 am
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- Location: Grimbia
- Contact:
Thanks doods.
And contrary to opinion (TG) I wasn't drunk when I wrote or posted it. Although I see why you might think so.
Basically a poem about things that bug me:
1) People who say they are CRAZY but most certainly are not.
2) Staring Cats
3) People who get the wrong phone number, but insist they have the correct one.
4) People who have tattoos on their legs (Calves mainly)
5) People who run over animals and don't stop
The point was how to defeat these "Annoyances" 3 out of 5 ain't bad.
Cam - I stopped taking the pills a while back! Definitely based on a past life though. I'm an upstanding Middle Englander these days, fucking drab.
And contrary to opinion (TG) I wasn't drunk when I wrote or posted it. Although I see why you might think so.
Basically a poem about things that bug me:
1) People who say they are CRAZY but most certainly are not.
2) Staring Cats
3) People who get the wrong phone number, but insist they have the correct one.
4) People who have tattoos on their legs (Calves mainly)
5) People who run over animals and don't stop
The point was how to defeat these "Annoyances" 3 out of 5 ain't bad.
Cam - I stopped taking the pills a while back! Definitely based on a past life though. I'm an upstanding Middle Englander these days, fucking drab.
http://www.closetpoet.co.uk
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unchained soul
- Prolific Poster
- Posts: 290
- Joined: Sun Jun 12, 2005 6:11 pm
- Location: Essex
Got to say Im very impressed with this one Cam. Made for a great read.
Rach
Rach
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twelveoone
- Productive Poster
- Posts: 85
- Joined: Tue Aug 16, 2005 11:44 pm
This should have been introduced, and wove somehow in as a theme.camus wrote:Thanks doods.
And contrary to opinion (TG) I wasn't drunk when I wrote or posted it. Although I see why you might think so.
Basically a poem about things that bug me:
I'm an upstanding Middle Englander these days, fucking drab.
Don't get too drab.