waterfalls

[oranggunung]

After many a formatting fiasco, I decided to post this as an image.

[R. Broath]

Interesting concept, although slow reading. The only tiny niggle is with 'weight down' although as a reminder to myself it could be highly memorable.
Love the title and the idea, og.

Jimmy

[oranggunung]

Jimmy

you should be able to read this as rapidly or as slowly as you like. I expect the slower you read it, the more cracks will appear. I did, I confess, take a few liberties with the linkage.


og

[David]

Very interesting and very enjoyable. It took me a couple of reads to understand - I think - the lay-out.

If you wanted to make it really challenging, you would have every column actually make sense. Now there's challenging.

Cheers

David

[oranggunung]

Thanks David

it took some time to get a rhyme and rhythm (of sorts). Making a clear, unambiguous statement of the 'falls' may take a little longer. If I find I have a spare year or two, I'll put it on the to do list.

There is some sense to the piece for me, but that's the advantage of being the writer. Editing is a real swine; as soon as you start trying to tinker with the links, you face the prospect of completely reinventing the verses.


Serves me right.

og

[Nigel]

I'm all for innovation but for me this is trying a bit too hard. It reminds me of a thought association test and that's about it. Sorry.

Nigel

[Sharra]

I really liked this - especially when I noticed that some of the horizontal lines had associations too
e.g. dated, dance, bite, (work didn't fit)
line weight fly (trigger didn't fit)
girl, music
market, fall
- was that intentional or chance? I think it would be great if you could get that across all the horizontal lines.

Sharra
x

[beautifulloser]

Hey Og

I like the idea. I picked up the the verticals quickly then started to look for what else you had done with it - why I had that expectation I'm not sure: Probably 'cos you're a dude, innit. Time consuming, but dead clever if you can work something out with it.

me
x

[OwenEdwards]

Thought association is enough for me...not my thing really, but I really did rather appreciate it.

[thoke]

It's quite nice. I don't think the form is a failure, but as mentioned it doesn't seem to make much sense, so there isn't much for me to get my teeth into. The only improvement I can think of would be to animate it: make it look like four waterfalls with words floating down them. Or at least make it look a bit nicer: less like it was pasted straight from mspaint.

Ben