Through the summer
I would sit and watch the clouds.
See them changing shape,
Fluffy, large and small.
These things they are so simple,
Still they catch our eye.
We sit and watch and wonder,
As they fill the sky.
Making shapes familiar,
And few that are unknown.
They started as a mist,
How mighty they have grown.
So these silent giants,
Float and pass us by.
Moving across the landscape,
As sunlight hits the sky.
Natural movies
Hello Bardialus.
I like the simplicity here. A good metaphor, easy to see and not overdone. It does get a little sing-songy though, in my opinion. If it were my poem, I'd crop it and keep the first and third stanzas as the poem, they seem to be the stronger two and tell the story adequately.
- Caleb
I like the simplicity here. A good metaphor, easy to see and not overdone. It does get a little sing-songy though, in my opinion. If it were my poem, I'd crop it and keep the first and third stanzas as the poem, they seem to be the stronger two and tell the story adequately.
- Caleb
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moniquejade
- Posts: 32
- Joined: Sat Sep 03, 2005 10:16 am
Hello. I def agree with pseudonymous. I like the simplicity here as well and the fact that we shouldnt take such amazing things for granted. best wishes mj
