Mad Billy Brown
I went to school with Billy Brown
Billy Brown was bonkers
He’d hopscotch home with broken bones
And pelt the bus with conkers
I once caught him eating worms
With cold soy sauce and chop-sticks
He cut their heads off one by one
And stuck their tails on tooth-picks
I lived next door to Billy Brown
He truly was demented
He’d hammer nails through slimy snails
And never once repented
And he collected bird’s eggs
The ones nicked out of nests
He’d stick a needle in both ends
And conduct his schoolboy tests
He’d pull the legs off bumble bees
Then sit and watch them die
Broken wings are futile stings
Without the force to fly
Billy Brown’s a silly clown
He’ll drive you round the bend
He speaks a different language too
That you won’t comprehend
Billy’s got a little sister
I’ve never seen him with her
Since the day he stole her bike
And drove it in the river
I went to scouts with Billy Brown
He once was a sixer
They kicked him out for putting kids
Inside a cement mixer
I once caught him throwing stones
At next door neighbours cat
I put him in a head-lock
And we had a little chat
But Billy Brown is Billy Brown
He’s not like you and me
He would be if he only had
An opportunity
Since school I ain’t seen Billy Brown
Billy Brown was lazy
He ate my English homework once
Man, that boy was crazy
I went to school with Billy Brown
Billy Brown was bonkers
He’d hopscotch home with broken bones
And pelt the bus with conkers
I once caught him eating worms
With cold soy sauce and chop-sticks
He cut their heads off one by one
And stuck their tails on tooth-picks
I lived next door to Billy Brown
He truly was demented
He’d hammer nails through slimy snails
And never once repented
And he collected bird’s eggs
The ones nicked out of nests
He’d stick a needle in both ends
And conduct his schoolboy tests
He’d pull the legs off bumble bees
Then sit and watch them die
Broken wings are futile stings
Without the force to fly
Billy Brown’s a silly clown
He’ll drive you round the bend
He speaks a different language too
That you won’t comprehend
Billy’s got a little sister
I’ve never seen him with her
Since the day he stole her bike
And drove it in the river
I went to scouts with Billy Brown
He once was a sixer
They kicked him out for putting kids
Inside a cement mixer
I once caught him throwing stones
At next door neighbours cat
I put him in a head-lock
And we had a little chat
But Billy Brown is Billy Brown
He’s not like you and me
He would be if he only had
An opportunity
Since school I ain’t seen Billy Brown
Billy Brown was lazy
He ate my English homework once
Man, that boy was crazy
The heavy rhymes and odd wrenched rhyme suit the content well.
