Seascape – III (Haibun)

[arunansu]

Sun shafts pierce through morning gloom. The canvas captures one lone egret. With gold on its wings, a day starts. Faraway lands glitter in a stint’s eye. Shades of fire swim on waters. A moored boat counts the waves. A fisherman throws his net across the sky.


obstinate wind
guides the sails--
wishes remain anchored

[R Cox]

Hi there.

This is my favorite of your seascapes. I've been rereading the other two which I heartily enjoyed, but this in particular does it for me. I'm not so hot on haibun, but it's a form I do enjoy to read, and would only with great trepidation attempt myself. A sterling effort, very enjoyable, ta very much.

[arunansu]

Thanks for your reply R.Cox. Initially I wanted to make a free verse, but the lines seemed to be suitable for a "prose poem". Thanks.

[Raisin]

Hi,

I enjoyed reading this, I liked how you linked the egret to "gold on its wings". The imagery is really nice and I think you manage to link up each line with the next, sun, sea and sky seem to be the main points of focus.

"Wishes remain anchored" is my favourite line, isn't one of the ledgends that if you catch a mermaid you get a wish? So "remained anchored" is good

Thanks,

Raisin

[arunansu]

Thanks Raisin for your reply. Regarding mermaids, well, not long ago I was turned to a pirate by one such creature! I avoid them nowadays!