Haiku Train

New to poetry? Unsure about the quality of your work? Then why not post here to receive some gentle feedback.
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Gazelle
Posts: 35
Joined: Sun Mar 22, 2009 12:10 pm
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Sun May 03, 2009 5:04 pm

then we got chucked out,
it was a large piece of beef!
no room for the fries.
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Suzanne
Perspicacious Poster
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Posts: 4902
Joined: Sun Oct 19, 2008 4:46 pm
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Location: Land of the Midnight Sun

Thu May 07, 2009 3:27 pm

No room for the fries
yet she still lingered about
always wanting more.
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a. gray
Posts: 21
Joined: Tue Apr 21, 2009 8:59 pm
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Mon May 11, 2009 12:43 am

always wanting more
the amateur fisherman
often ends up wet!
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a. gray
Posts: 21
Joined: Tue Apr 21, 2009 8:59 pm
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Mon May 11, 2009 5:38 pm

often ends up wet,
often ends up dissolving
slow into seldom.
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Travis
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Posts: 1911
Joined: Tue Mar 14, 2006 3:00 am
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Thu May 21, 2009 1:58 am

Slow into seldom,
then into never. Always
on the decline, sex.
There's only one rule in street and bar fights: maximum violence, instantly. (Martin Amis, "Money")
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oranggunung
Preponderant Poster
Preponderant Poster
Posts: 1393
Joined: Tue Apr 10, 2007 9:15 pm
Location: Dublin, Ireland

Fri May 29, 2009 11:54 pm

On the decline, sex
no longer seems like a drive,
but a marathon.
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PhilipCFJohnson
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Posts: 594
Joined: Mon Dec 01, 2008 12:28 am
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Location: UK

Sun May 31, 2009 7:02 pm

But a marathon,
Is all all about endurance.
It's not about speed.
Specto Nusquam
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Lake
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Posts: 2294
Joined: Fri Jun 08, 2007 4:55 pm
Location: Sky Blue Waters

Sun May 31, 2009 7:08 pm

but a marathon
to raise money is measured
penny by penny
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oranggunung
Preponderant Poster
Preponderant Poster
Posts: 1393
Joined: Tue Apr 10, 2007 9:15 pm
Location: Dublin, Ireland

Mon Jun 01, 2009 8:47 pm

an effort to join the two disparate strands ...

It´s not about speed,
but style, energy and pluck -
the drugs come later.


Penny by penny,
a fortune slowly accrues –
the drugs come later.
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nar
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Preponderant Poster
Posts: 903
Joined: Tue Feb 10, 2009 8:57 pm
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Location: Central Scotland

Wed Jun 03, 2009 1:34 pm

The drugs? Come later,
friend, Mary Jane and Poppy
would love to meet you.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left. (Bertrand Russell)
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BenJohnson
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Joined: Wed Nov 12, 2008 10:32 am
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Location: New Forest, UK
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Wed Jun 03, 2009 5:10 pm

Would love to meet you!
Five word note under the door
Evicted last night.
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oranggunung
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Posts: 1393
Joined: Tue Apr 10, 2007 9:15 pm
Location: Dublin, Ireland

Sun Jun 07, 2009 6:07 am

Evicted last night -
cast out from cushy comfort
to face the real world.
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Lake
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Posts: 2294
Joined: Fri Jun 08, 2007 4:55 pm
Location: Sky Blue Waters

Sun Jun 07, 2009 7:14 pm

to face the real world
the sun pushes clouds away
smiling sunflowers
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BenJohnson
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Location: New Forest, UK
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Mon Jun 08, 2009 6:47 pm

Smiling sunflowers
gently edge me to the cliff
no more cheese at night.
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Lake
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Posts: 2294
Joined: Fri Jun 08, 2007 4:55 pm
Location: Sky Blue Waters

Tue Jun 09, 2009 1:29 am

“No more cheese at night”,
grumbled the mice. But lo, look!
Skydog ate the moon!
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oranggunung
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Posts: 1393
Joined: Tue Apr 10, 2007 9:15 pm
Location: Dublin, Ireland

Thu Jun 11, 2009 10:29 am

Skydog ate the moon,
but suffered indigestion -
produced shooting stars.
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R Cox
Posts: 45
Joined: Fri May 22, 2009 3:54 pm
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Thu Jun 11, 2009 2:58 pm

Produced shooting stars
are different to natural ones
but they look the same.
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PhilipCFJohnson
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Posts: 594
Joined: Mon Dec 01, 2008 12:28 am
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Location: UK

Thu Jun 11, 2009 8:06 pm

But they look the same:
That's how I always saw it.
Theme. Variation.
Specto Nusquam
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oranggunung
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Posts: 1393
Joined: Tue Apr 10, 2007 9:15 pm
Location: Dublin, Ireland

Fri Jun 12, 2009 12:00 pm

Theme: variation.
Chosen style: conversation.
“Y’know, plus ca change …”
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Travis
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Posts: 1911
Joined: Tue Mar 14, 2006 3:00 am
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Tue Jun 16, 2009 6:05 pm

Y’know, plus ca change
rhymes with musketeer (kind of).
But not really. Sigh.
There's only one rule in street and bar fights: maximum violence, instantly. (Martin Amis, "Money")
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bella3
Posts: 12
Joined: Sat Jun 27, 2009 11:37 am
antispam: no

Sat Jun 27, 2009 3:29 pm

But not really. Sigh.
He was not that into me.
Never called again.
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oranggunung
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Posts: 1393
Joined: Tue Apr 10, 2007 9:15 pm
Location: Dublin, Ireland

Sat Jun 27, 2009 6:47 pm

Never called again.
I didn’t get to kiss her,
only her mother.
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Lake
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Posts: 2294
Joined: Fri Jun 08, 2007 4:55 pm
Location: Sky Blue Waters

Sat Jun 27, 2009 7:03 pm

only her mother
dressed in black at funeral -
a weeping willow
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bella3
Posts: 12
Joined: Sat Jun 27, 2009 11:37 am
antispam: no

Tue Jun 30, 2009 1:52 am

A weeping willow,
uses way too much tissue.
A drama queen!
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gpierre
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Productive Poster
Posts: 69
Joined: Tue Aug 28, 2007 11:05 am
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Location: Sheffield, UK

Wed Jul 01, 2009 6:47 pm

A dramatic Queen
Bee dreams as drones quickly pack:
This hive is moving.
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