abandoned web

[Minstrel]

These are my clothes
paint spattered and musty,
and dusted with cobwebs,
plucked from the cellar.
This is my window
white and dusty
and littered with petals
that fell from the flower.
This is my clown
lost but still smiling,
absently picking
the old from the new.
This is lost love
the fates unfortunate
picking through pieces
and remnants of you.

[Skript]

nice, very apt comparisons

'and dusted with cobwebs,
plucked from the cellar.

white and dusty
and littered with petals
that fell from the flower

picking through pieces
and remnants of you.'

[Minstrel]

Thankyou, and congratulations on your child. Nice poem, fuck the mods. Dont tell them I said so. They like to stand outside ' experience ' and call it poetry, like ghosts floating around an unexperienced experience. Ironically ( they will probably criticise my spelling ) they have a lot to teach.
And their heart is most definately in the right place.

David

[camus]

"And their heart is most definately in the right place."

Most definitely, we are all here to improve.

Over a period (not designated) we should all show improvement, or at least show that we are willing to take on board others critiques and try.

I guess if you don't adhere to those simple rules, then you shouldn't be attempting to write.

Fair enough I reckon.