open book

New to poetry? Unsure about the quality of your work? Then why not post here to receive some gentle feedback.
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Pauline
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Fri Nov 27, 2009 9:25 pm

I am an open book.
My pages may be yellowing
and a little creased.
I'm looking rather dog-eared
as I've been well thumbed,
but hey, I'm a bloody
good read.
tool
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Fri Nov 27, 2009 10:27 pm

dear pauline

such is your poem of enlivenment

that it petition to me to giggle;

but that dose not take away the fact of skill

in the writing; you humble me; tool
Pauline
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Fri Nov 27, 2009 10:37 pm

Hey Tool. Glad I could make you smile. It's all tongue in cheek. There's nothing better than going to bed with a good book. Lol.
kimibob
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Sat Nov 28, 2009 10:54 am

HI,
this is great. Concise and to the point. Well done!
Kimi
Pauline
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Sat Nov 28, 2009 11:55 am

Thanks Kimi,
arunansu
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Sat Nov 28, 2009 2:07 pm

A wonderful read, Pauline. I also feel you may do away with that first line. It could make the piece more compact. Just a thought, though.

Enjoyed.
Pauline
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Sat Nov 28, 2009 9:16 pm

Thanks Aru. I get what your saying. Make it less obvious hey.
GONE AWAY

Sun Nov 29, 2009 10:31 am

Wow, I liked that, short and to the point.
Thankyou
Ian.
Pauline
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Sun Nov 29, 2009 10:53 am

Thanks Ian. Glad you like it.
Suzanne
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Sun Nov 29, 2009 2:41 pm

I smiled. A bloody good read. Yes.

Suzanne
Pauline
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Sun Nov 29, 2009 5:38 pm

Cheers Suzanne.
Lovely
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Sun Nov 29, 2009 8:31 pm

I like the opener "I am an open book" it strikes with honesty at an instant;

it also approaches a sudden echo from the heart which reverberates through it all

it is a lingering piece and worthy. "Hey, I'm a bloody good read" could be mistaking for vanity, but hey...this is not the case....

enjoyed a lot
Pauline
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Mon Nov 30, 2009 3:37 pm

Thanks Lovely. Glad you enjoyed it.
David
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Thu Dec 03, 2009 10:23 am

I am an open book.

Now that just makes you seem a bit too available to all and sundry, Pauline. I'm sure you're not.

I would suggest "well-loved", but you've already (understandably) got "well-thumbed". "Favourite", maybe?

It's a clever, fun read anyway.

Cheers

David
Pauline
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Thu Dec 03, 2009 4:16 pm

Lol, thanks David.
Lake
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Thu Dec 03, 2009 5:56 pm

It's a darling book to read. :)
Pauline
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Thu Dec 03, 2009 6:52 pm

Aw Lake, Cheers. What a lovely thing to say.
Arian
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Thu Dec 03, 2009 11:11 pm

If it's autobiographical, Pauline, it's quite poignant.
Nice piece
peter
Pauline
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Thu Dec 03, 2009 11:16 pm

Yes, it is autobiographical Peter. Me in a nutshell.
Thanks for your comments.
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