A chore

[Suzanne]

A chore


After the daily duties were done,
he'd find his old rag and wring her out
with all his remaining strength.

By the time he was done,
not even one drop of water
would be found clinging.

She was dying to be useful.



.
edit removed- with her from L4

[Marc]

Hi Suzanne,
I like this though rather sad. Neatly written and original. Excellent writing.
Marc

[Ros]

Great image, Suzanne, quite caught me by surprise.

Ros

[Suzanne]

marc,

thank you very much for the reply. I am glad you have been enjoying a few of my poems and telling me. They are so simple compared to yours!



Ros, thank you for the positive. It's always encouraging. I am curious as to what suprised you?



Warmly,
Suzanne

[arunansu]

I agree, a sad write, yet it shines with your poetic abilities. A great read.

[kimibob]

HI,
great piece, good use of metaphor. Sad? Well yes, but not depressing, more real and deep.
Kimi

[Suzanne]

Thank you are Kimibob.

Sad, sad, sad story, but certainly not uncommon.

Warmly,
Suzanne

[Ros]

I was surprised (in a good way) by the sudden shift to 'her' when talking about the rag. Good stuff.

[Lake]

Hi Suzanne,

I'm pretty familiar with the metaphore of an old rag to mean a woman who is abandoned when her value such as youth, beauty, health, wealth ... is exhausted.
The title "chore" is clever, but I'm not sure if it is his wringing of the rag the chore or something else. You have "daily duties" in L1, which means kind of chore, too. You described it very well.

Thanks,

Lake

PS: What will be a metaphore for a discarded man. Just curious.

[Arian]

A nicely bitter-sweet allegory, Suzanne, tightly written. Good stuff.
peter

[Lovely]

It all a seven Su. It is simple as nature SEVEN. Intellect has no way in this.

Six realms above and below

Count (this earth) as one please...above is six and below is six..........

[tool]

i would agree with the above

man will always measure his desire by his streangh;

tool

[Suzanne]

Thank you Ros for telling me. Appreicated it.

Lake,
Thank you. She is seen as another chore but she sees herself as helpful to his cause. She is the rag that washes his car, she is the rag that washes his dishes and scrubs his back. Not an uncommon relationship, I would say.

A metaphor for men? I will think on this, just for fun.
A nice piece of jewellery is the first thing that comes to mind. I am not sure why. what an interesting thing to think about it.
Men only get in trouble when they forget they are Kings... and a King ought be kingly and fair-minded. Just.

Peter,
"Tightly written" is a great reward from you! Thank you.

Lovely,
So much positive energy, thanks.

tool,
Thank you.
"man will always measure his desire by his strength" sounds like good substance for a poem. You put big thoughts into small sentences. Thanks.


Warmly,
Suzanne