Haiku Train

New to poetry? Unsure about the quality of your work? Then why not post here to receive some gentle feedback.
Marc
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Sun Dec 06, 2009 2:46 pm

A tyred car was
more pleasant for Mrs Brown
on her way to church.
Suzanne
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Sun Dec 06, 2009 2:56 pm

on her way to church
she had stomach butterflies
twas because of hymn.
Lake
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Sun Dec 06, 2009 3:07 pm

twas because of hymn
she stays tuned to Ballad
in a tired car
Marc
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Sun Dec 06, 2009 3:12 pm

In a tired car
they ran out of petrol late
one warm summer's night
Lake
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Sun Dec 06, 2009 3:37 pm

one warm summer's night
no different than others
fireflies light road lamps
Suzanne
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Sun Dec 06, 2009 3:56 pm

fireflies light road lamps
crickets play their hopeful tunes
summertime dances.
oranggunung
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Sun Dec 06, 2009 4:46 pm

Summertime dances
in bright and vivid colours:
birds and butterflies.
Suzanne
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Sun Dec 06, 2009 4:59 pm

birds and butterflies
hide deep within hushed greens
anxious to take flight.
Pauline
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Sun Dec 06, 2009 5:10 pm

anxious to take flight,
because I am afraid of heights.
I'll take the train instead
Suzanne
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Sun Dec 06, 2009 5:32 pm

I'll take the train instead
be dragged over the platform
with a cheeky grin.
Pauline
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Sun Dec 06, 2009 6:09 pm

with a cheeky grin,
I slip my hand into his back pocket.
Thanks for the new dress.
nar
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Sun Dec 06, 2009 8:00 pm

Thanks for the new dress --
everybody's havin' fun.
Autumn/Winter range.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left. (Bertrand Russell)
Suzanne
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Sun Dec 06, 2009 10:57 pm

autumn/winter range
open season, covert gear
he breaks her weapon..
nar
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Sun Dec 06, 2009 11:01 pm

He breaks her: Weapon
in hand, soul in back pocket --
with torn foil wrapper.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left. (Bertrand Russell)
Pauline
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Mon Dec 07, 2009 10:51 pm

with torn foil wrapper
tucked tightly into my pocket,
I sneak the toffee in my mouth.
Suzanne
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Mon Dec 07, 2009 11:15 pm

toffee in my mouth
cold flint stone held in his palm
spark on wet paper
Marc
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Tue Dec 08, 2009 9:43 am

Spark on wet paper.
Liquid trudge with washing up.
Waking up twisted.
juliadebeauvoir
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Tue Dec 08, 2009 1:26 pm

Waking up twisted
when you went to bed just fine
is a conundrum.
"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you."
nar
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Tue Dec 08, 2009 3:19 pm

Is a conundrum?
Or is it not? If it is -
it's not to work out.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left. (Bertrand Russell)
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anniecat
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Tue Dec 08, 2009 5:26 pm

it's not to work out
coz the gyms to tough for me
stay at home instead
It always happens when you least expect it. AC
nar
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Tue Dec 08, 2009 9:23 pm

stay at home instead --
deactivated in bed.
Stay in - at homestead.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left. (Bertrand Russell)
juliadebeauvoir
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Wed Dec 09, 2009 4:27 am

Stay in-at homestead
she said to the cowboy,
served up grits n' bread.
"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you."
arunansu
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Wed Dec 09, 2009 1:37 pm

served up grits n' bread
the autumn
to a hungry poet
juliadebeauvoir
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Wed Dec 09, 2009 1:43 pm

To a hungry poet,
words are not enough to eat,
they eat their hearts out.
"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you."
tool
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Thu Dec 10, 2009 5:29 am

they eats there hearts out
as i kiss my girl
under the lamp light blackout
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