beetroot

New to poetry? Unsure about the quality of your work? Then why not post here to receive some gentle feedback.
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tool
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Fri Dec 11, 2009 5:18 am

There are many ways in which a beetroot,
seek to gain communal recognition, prove themselves
attractive to the crowd,
by displaying sophisticated emotion;
do you think 2 opposites with different tactics,
in a jocular tone be comfortable advertencys;
the risk is failure in front of others,

mr tool
beetroot
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Fri Dec 11, 2009 8:00 am

By that logic, mistakes make us whole tools to tool too, tool :lol:

I am interested in syntax rather than useless emotions such as pride btw
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Dalena
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Fri Dec 11, 2009 10:33 am

Oh tool

I'm wondering about the singularity in using "a" in line one and how that bears grammatically under the scrutiny of the execution
of your second line...........tut, mmm I detect something of an egotistical nature welling up in this piece..........how human....smile.

I get a little stuck with the competitive element in the closing lines.......I wonder how we quantify failure here?

Dalena x
Life is one good lick away from being naughty
beetroot
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Fri Dec 11, 2009 11:47 am

He simply lacked recognition, even when he upturned a bowl of hot beetroot onto his head as child, is all :lol:
This is just so simply amusing, tool! *falls of his perch laughing*

Thank you for this, it's made me feel welcome for a change ))) HUG (((
tool
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Sat Dec 12, 2009 2:42 am

beetroot and delena

i thank you for your crit

you both got it right i was welcomeing beetroot to the pd,

delena and it was all done on the back of my donky called ego;

thank you both; tool
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