[ Tanka ]
she grew quiet
as I recited
the poem
that took a lifetime
to sprout
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
her silence
her decade-old smile
warms me up
the morning coffee
fills a ten year void
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Feelings on Jan 1
aru,
Such a minimalist style. There's turbulance in this quiet poem as well as ambiguity.
she grew quiet
as I recited
the poem
that took a lifetime
to sprout
Why did she grow quiet? Attracted by the poem? Or tired of listening to it?
her silence
her decade-old smile
warms me up
the morning coffee
fills a ten year void
It reads to me "her smile" warms me up, but then "the morning coffee/fills a ten year void" means she's absent for ten years?
Yes, images in tanka are infused with implication, suggestion and nuance. And you are doing very well, aru.
Lake
Such a minimalist style. There's turbulance in this quiet poem as well as ambiguity.
she grew quiet
as I recited
the poem
that took a lifetime
to sprout
Why did she grow quiet? Attracted by the poem? Or tired of listening to it?
her silence
her decade-old smile
warms me up
the morning coffee
fills a ten year void
It reads to me "her smile" warms me up, but then "the morning coffee/fills a ten year void" means she's absent for ten years?
Yes, images in tanka are infused with implication, suggestion and nuance. And you are doing very well, aru.
Lake
Thank you Lake.
Why did she grow quiet? Attracted by the poem? Or tired of listening to it?
- To me it may be the latter, but to some other reader it could be the former too.
It reads to me "her smile" warms me up, but then "the morning coffee/fills a ten year void" means she's absent for ten years?
- May be so, or may be that her absence seems as long as ten whole years! Thank you Lake.
Lovely,
Its a nice news that you are recovering well. Can't thank you enough that you're replying to my posts even being in such a bad health. Take a bow!
Smiles.
Why did she grow quiet? Attracted by the poem? Or tired of listening to it?
- To me it may be the latter, but to some other reader it could be the former too.
It reads to me "her smile" warms me up, but then "the morning coffee/fills a ten year void" means she's absent for ten years?
- May be so, or may be that her absence seems as long as ten whole years! Thank you Lake.
Lovely,
Its a nice news that you are recovering well. Can't thank you enough that you're replying to my posts even being in such a bad health. Take a bow!
Smiles.
Anniecat, Thanks for your post. I'm trying to 'write' Tanka, smiles.
-
zootsuitmod
- Productive Poster
- Posts: 92
- Joined: Mon Sep 08, 2008 12:50 pm
- Location: Our Pier burnt down.
"she grew quiet
as I recited
the poem
that took a lifetime
to sprout"
You managed to conjure in my mind a complete life story in 5 lines
I see it as an affirmation of love from one person towards another after a long period together, and perhaps the realisation from the one who grows quiet about the true feelings of the other.
Nice write, thanks.
as I recited
the poem
that took a lifetime
to sprout"
You managed to conjure in my mind a complete life story in 5 lines
I see it as an affirmation of love from one person towards another after a long period together, and perhaps the realisation from the one who grows quiet about the true feelings of the other.
Nice write, thanks.
[center]A poem will always find someone for whom it works and to whom it means something [/center]
Thank you, Zoot, for your reply and time. Smiles.