Haiku Train

New to poetry? Unsure about the quality of your work? Then why not post here to receive some gentle feedback.
Suzanne
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Mon Feb 01, 2010 11:19 am

carried by a dove
strong wings fluttering beneath
safely nestled in.
Marc
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Mon Feb 01, 2010 1:26 pm

Safely nestled in.
Outside the night blows wildly,
storming at high walls.
Suzanne
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Tue Feb 02, 2010 4:55 pm

storming at high walls
he paces outside my room
each footstep begs me.
Marc
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Wed Feb 03, 2010 1:09 pm

Each footstep begs me:
turn your back on the road,
shelter in her rooms.
Suzanne
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Wed Feb 03, 2010 1:37 pm

shelter in her rooms
roses and fresh cut clover
warm breakfast table.
Marc
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Wed Feb 03, 2010 2:32 pm

Warm breakfast table
friendly scandinavian
hospitality.
:)
Suzanne
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Wed Feb 03, 2010 2:40 pm

Hospitality!?
Everything would be offered !
She'd need to prepare.
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Dalena
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Wed Feb 03, 2010 2:42 pm

She'd need to prepare
as kicking him into touch
was a real surprise.
Life is one good lick away from being naughty
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Danté
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Wed Feb 03, 2010 3:01 pm

was a real surprise
all that occupied her her mind?
He thought otherwise.
to anticipate touching what is unseen seems far more interesting than seeing what the hand can not touch
Suzanne
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Wed Feb 03, 2010 3:10 pm

he thought otherwise-
stimulating dialogue's
served with cinnamon.
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Danté
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Wed Feb 03, 2010 3:14 pm

served with cinnamon
which had been carefully ground
to a fine powder.
to anticipate touching what is unseen seems far more interesting than seeing what the hand can not touch
Suzanne
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Wed Feb 03, 2010 3:41 pm

in a fine powder
dusted on clean surfaces
rolling pin ready.
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Danté
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Wed Feb 03, 2010 3:43 pm

rolling pin ready,
again she was too damn slow
he paused in silence.
to anticipate touching what is unseen seems far more interesting than seeing what the hand can not touch
Suzanne
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Wed Feb 03, 2010 3:50 pm

he paused in silence
she kept her eye on the clock
Time was on his side.
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Danté
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Wed Feb 03, 2010 3:51 pm

Time was on his side,
the one opportunity
to prevail at last.
to anticipate touching what is unseen seems far more interesting than seeing what the hand can not touch
Suzanne
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Wed Feb 03, 2010 4:04 pm

To prevail at last
She put her ducks in a row
in correct word order.
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Danté
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Wed Feb 03, 2010 4:06 pm

in correct word order
which had unfortunately
taken her too long.
to anticipate touching what is unseen seems far more interesting than seeing what the hand can not touch
Marc
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Wed Feb 03, 2010 4:14 pm

Taken her too long.
Only five then just seven,
and a final five.
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Danté
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Wed Feb 03, 2010 4:15 pm

and a final five
followed by another line
of three simple words.
to anticipate touching what is unseen seems far more interesting than seeing what the hand can not touch
Marc
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Wed Feb 03, 2010 4:18 pm

What's that then Dante,
is there some special title
for this type of poem?
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Danté
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Wed Feb 03, 2010 4:19 pm

for this type of poem?
I'll have to consider it
as my brain is tired.
to anticipate touching what is unseen seems far more interesting than seeing what the hand can not touch
Marc
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Wed Feb 03, 2010 4:23 pm

Oh poo, it would seem,
in trying to be clever,
I've used six not five!
Marc
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Wed Feb 03, 2010 4:25 pm

I used 6 not 5
and completely lost the thread.
My brain is tired!
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Danté
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Wed Feb 03, 2010 4:25 pm

I've used six not five!
that'll make her squeal loudly
never mind, it's fun.
to anticipate touching what is unseen seems far more interesting than seeing what the hand can not touch
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Danté
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Wed Feb 03, 2010 4:26 pm

never mind, it's fun
even if one has to cheat
by having it ready.
to anticipate touching what is unseen seems far more interesting than seeing what the hand can not touch
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