What she came for was me
don't understand this meaning
autistic me and silly for being
and feeeling so free inside of
love is all. I wish to know and feel
rings of smoke through the trees
when I was hungry as a child and
I never called the tune only those
about me which constantly moaned
about me.
Woe if there's a tussle inside
don't blame me, it's all to see,
your head his hammering to join
the peaceful wind to eventually know
me.
Real power is to Be a peace to see.
Flow these lights around me grace
is their names: you will know me by these
Higher and lower flames....
Look, nymphs, look!
the blaze is all the glory!
Fame her high worth to raise
is nothing in the Higher flame.
Less than half we are expressed
envy will conceal the rest!
Find Your peace In Reflections
Just wow i really liked this poem l
i loved some of the beautiful vivid language here
however, im struggling with what the point of this poem really is. Obviously don't tell me but maybe it could a bit more apparent?
thanks
Patrick
i loved some of the beautiful vivid language here
however, im struggling with what the point of this poem really is. Obviously don't tell me but maybe it could a bit more apparent?
thanks
Patrick
"Poetry makes nothing happen. It survives in the valley of its saying." W.H. Auden
Lovely
It´s an intersting piece that takes a little enquiring to get in amongst the ideas behind the phrasing.
For me, it would have read better if you had punctuated and made it easier to see where the reader
should separate one statement from another. I kind of get the feeling you intentionally have allowed
pivotal words to make the sentences have an additional dimension and it probably requires a few reads
to get the best out of it. I take note that you have done with any editing, so will re read more
as time allows.
enjoyed so far
thanks
Danté
It´s an intersting piece that takes a little enquiring to get in amongst the ideas behind the phrasing.
For me, it would have read better if you had punctuated and made it easier to see where the reader
should separate one statement from another. I kind of get the feeling you intentionally have allowed
pivotal words to make the sentences have an additional dimension and it probably requires a few reads
to get the best out of it. I take note that you have done with any editing, so will re read more
as time allows.
enjoyed so far
thanks
Danté
to anticipate touching what is unseen seems far more interesting than seeing what the hand can not touch
Dear lovely
Your poems seems to be autonomous from your beautiful
mind. When you write your poems, your starting are just
so wonderful, one would say the chrysalis then butterfly,
But you seem to be at the chrysalis stage. At the same time
I’am new at this critiquing. So it is how i felt when i read your work;
Because our inner souls are in these poems. We see evolutionary steps
in our creations. We see the past and the future, and everything everything in between.
tool
Your poems seems to be autonomous from your beautiful
mind. When you write your poems, your starting are just
so wonderful, one would say the chrysalis then butterfly,
But you seem to be at the chrysalis stage. At the same time
I’am new at this critiquing. So it is how i felt when i read your work;
Because our inner souls are in these poems. We see evolutionary steps
in our creations. We see the past and the future, and everything everything in between.
tool
-
Arian
- Perspicacious Poster
- Posts: 2718
- Joined: Tue Aug 11, 2009 8:41 am
- antispam: no
- Location: Hertfordshire, UK
Hi Lovely,
Some of your pieces have a looseness and fluidity about them which makes them a pleasure to read, even if their meaning must, for me at least, usually remain something of a mystery. This one, though, is just too much of an (apparently) random tumble of words and phrases for my taste. I’ve reads it several times (honest!), but have failed to take meaning from almost any part of the piece, let alone the whole. What, I keep asking myself can it mean to say...”Fame her high worth to raise/is nothing in the Higher flame.”? And there’s other examples. Perhaps punctuation (yes, I know, that boring old chestnut) might help, but in this case, I suspect not much.
Sorry for being negative, I often look for your work which is re often, er, adventurous, but this one...well, enough said, I think.
Thanks for the post, though, your stuff is good fun.
peter
Some of your pieces have a looseness and fluidity about them which makes them a pleasure to read, even if their meaning must, for me at least, usually remain something of a mystery. This one, though, is just too much of an (apparently) random tumble of words and phrases for my taste. I’ve reads it several times (honest!), but have failed to take meaning from almost any part of the piece, let alone the whole. What, I keep asking myself can it mean to say...”Fame her high worth to raise/is nothing in the Higher flame.”? And there’s other examples. Perhaps punctuation (yes, I know, that boring old chestnut) might help, but in this case, I suspect not much.
Sorry for being negative, I often look for your work which is re often, er, adventurous, but this one...well, enough said, I think.
Thanks for the post, though, your stuff is good fun.
peter
-
WobblyVern
- Posts: 35
- Joined: Tue Sep 15, 2009 12:41 pm
- antispam: no
Lovely - another poem my green poetry mind can't decipher properly, but another poem that I just like. Methinks you may be unknowable like the sea......Thanks Lovely