Decay
I wish I could forget your love
Which brought such pain to me!
And never to regret your love
I managed to upset your love,
With thoughts of misery.
To hear your plaintive tearful cries
Accusing to my ear.
To understand your fearful cries
I much preferred your cheerful cries,
When I was more sincere.
Perhaps we could be happy still
If we had talked it through,
But it became a bitter pill
A rift between us two until
I had to say adieu.
Now I have gone away my love
I feel so ill with lust.
The wreckage I survey my love,
The onset of decay my love;
Our golden dream is rust.
Decay
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zootsuitmod
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[center]A poem will always find someone for whom it works and to whom it means something [/center]
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zootsuitmod
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If anyone read the post I just deleted, I'm sorry.
I'll be good and post criticism on other peoples work as well as my own from now on.
What has brought on this change of heart, well I was on my way to Damascus...................
Stopped off here,
http://www.everypoet.org/pffa/index.php
looking for some insightful criticism on a couple of pieces what I just wrote.
If you want to find out how thick skinned you are about your work post something on there......Go on I dare ya!
I got kicked off after two posts. Told not to come back until I could understand how poetry worked. Very cathartic!
I now love and cherish each one of you who post criticisms.
Zoot
xxxxx
I'll be good and post criticism on other peoples work as well as my own from now on.
What has brought on this change of heart, well I was on my way to Damascus...................
Stopped off here,
http://www.everypoet.org/pffa/index.php
looking for some insightful criticism on a couple of pieces what I just wrote.
If you want to find out how thick skinned you are about your work post something on there......Go on I dare ya!
I got kicked off after two posts. Told not to come back until I could understand how poetry worked. Very cathartic!
I now love and cherish each one of you who post criticisms.
Zoot
xxxxx
[center]A poem will always find someone for whom it works and to whom it means something [/center]
Zoot,
Yes that place is pretty brutal, I worked there for a couple of months to make me think harder about what I do, I read your comment
here and thought it was a shame because you add something to the diversity here.
I wont ask which part of your previous comment I occupy.
all the best
Danté
Yes that place is pretty brutal, I worked there for a couple of months to make me think harder about what I do, I read your comment
here and thought it was a shame because you add something to the diversity here.
I wont ask which part of your previous comment I occupy.
all the best
Danté
to anticipate touching what is unseen seems far more interesting than seeing what the hand can not touch
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zootsuitmod
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- Location: Our Pier burnt down.
No personal reference meant Dante, and I hope none taken?
Glad to be back
Glad to be back
[center]A poem will always find someone for whom it works and to whom it means something [/center]
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Ros
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pffa are famous for being a bunch of vicious bastards. I don't know whether their advice is any good - not sure anyone has lasted long enough there to find out.
Rosencrantz: What are you playing at? Guildenstern: Words. Words. They're all we have to go on.
___________________________
Antiphon - www.antiphon.org.uk
___________________________
Antiphon - www.antiphon.org.uk
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zootsuitmod
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I ws a bit upset at first, but it makes me laugh now 
I think that's the trick. The mods never seem to post their own opinions or fixes, so you never know if your talking to a poetic genius or just someone who's into verbal S&M.
I think that's the trick. The mods never seem to post their own opinions or fixes, so you never know if your talking to a poetic genius or just someone who's into verbal S&M.
[center]A poem will always find someone for whom it works and to whom it means something [/center]
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Ros
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Well, if you want pffa style crits I'm sure we can oblige 
Rosencrantz: What are you playing at? Guildenstern: Words. Words. They're all we have to go on.
___________________________
Antiphon - www.antiphon.org.uk
___________________________
Antiphon - www.antiphon.org.uk
pffa? pfft. Pay them no more mind, zoot.
As to this, I see you're still channelling Sir John to good effect. It reminds me of something in particular. Is it Senex? Definitely something on the album that Jim Parker made of settings of SJB reading his poems in the 70's, which I asked for - and got - for a teenage birthday. Not very rock'n'roll, I know, but I never was very rock'n'roll, although I did - and do - like the stuff.
Cheers
David
As to this, I see you're still channelling Sir John to good effect. It reminds me of something in particular. Is it Senex? Definitely something on the album that Jim Parker made of settings of SJB reading his poems in the 70's, which I asked for - and got - for a teenage birthday. Not very rock'n'roll, I know, but I never was very rock'n'roll, although I did - and do - like the stuff.
Cheers
David
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zootsuitmod
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- Joined: Mon Sep 08, 2008 12:50 pm
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Spot on David, yes it was Senex, although only a pale imitation of it, but heartfelt and true no the less.David wrote:pffa? pfft. Pay them no more mind, zoot.
As to this, I see you're still channelling Sir John to good effect. It reminds me of something in particular. Is it Senex? Definitely something on the album that Jim Parker made of settings of SJB reading his poems in the 70's, which I asked for - and got - for a teenage birthday. Not very rock'n'roll, I know, but I never was very rock'n'roll, although I did - and do - like the stuff.
Cheers
David
There should be an extra stanza matching S3, but it was beyond me! I don't know of anything else that JB wrote in this format. Having sweated over it for a week I can understand why.
[center]A poem will always find someone for whom it works and to whom it means something [/center]