Sea Spray and bullets - D - Day Plus Sixty (years)

This is a serious poetry forum not a "love-in". Post here for more detailed, constructive criticism.
Post Reply
User avatar
Greenman
Posts: 48
Joined: Sun Jul 18, 2004 10:53 am

Mon Oct 18, 2004 3:44 pm

Sea Spray and bullets
D - Day Plus Sixty (years)

Lines written to commemorate the 60th Anniversary of the
D - Day Landings 6th June 1944.

"Were nearing the beach" I heard him cry.
As sea spray and bullets stung the sky.
"Keep your rifles up and your heads down",
"Keep close to the lines or your drown!"

I looked across and saw your face,
You looked at me as your finger traced,
The sign of the cross upon your chest,
As my heart sank to it's dreariest.

Then, all of a sudden we hit shore,
Down went the ramp and crashed to the floor.
Down we ran into the cold seawater,
Behind us more ships before us slaughter!

Then onto the beach and race for the land,
Down came a shell, which throw up sand.
Weaving through traps and razor wire,
Knee deep in dead, this bloody mire!

Until at the cliff I dive for cover,
Looking for you, my Christian, brother.
You lay on the beach few yards away,
Crying for help amid the affray.

I tried to reach you; I called out your name.
But the bullet it got you and put out your flame.
The flame of life was now gone your face,
As you lay dead upon this foreign place.

Now sixty years on I return to the shore,
And stands at the place were you lay on the floor.
And remember the things that we were to have done
If it were not for the bullet from that enemy gun.

"As memories fade and eyes grow dim we will remember them,
The brave men who gave there lives on the 6th June 1944.
God rest their mortal souls, Amen"

Andrew Whitfield (Poet)
© 1st June 2004
London, England,
Arcadian
Prolific Poster
Prolific Poster
Posts: 698
Joined: Sun Aug 22, 2004 12:48 am

Mon Oct 18, 2004 8:10 pm

The title is so evocative and apt and the rhyme scheme " a military precison and forcefulness" about it and it is very touching also

Good Job Andrew

cheers
Nicholas
cameron
Site Admin
Site Admin
Posts: 2162
Joined: Thu May 27, 2004 6:45 pm
antispam: no
Location: Norfolk 'n' Good

Wed Oct 20, 2004 8:22 am

Hi Andy,

Reminds me a bit of Keith Douglas' great WW2 poem Vergissmeinnicht


C
User avatar
Greenman
Posts: 48
Joined: Sun Jul 18, 2004 10:53 am

Wed Oct 20, 2004 5:51 pm

cameron wrote:Hi Andy,

Reminds me a bit of Keith Douglas' great WW2 poem Vergissmeinnicht


C
Cameron, I have just read Keith Douglas poem 'Vergissmeinnicht' and yes I can see where you are coming from. Thanks for the comment, sadly I'm not in that poets league.

POETS NOTE: A copy of my poem is at present held on file in the U.S. National D-Day Museum in Texas, for future generations to read.
Yesterday
Prolific Poster
Prolific Poster
Posts: 276
Joined: Sat Oct 23, 2004 6:46 am

Sat Oct 23, 2004 6:50 am

hi

that was great!
It was intreging
Post Reply