Noiseless, little spider about my thoughts

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Ewan_McTeagle
Posts: 41
Joined: Tue Nov 22, 2005 2:35 am
Location: Poland

Sun May 07, 2006 4:40 am

Noiseless, little spider stood right there
where I’d like to go. Where I’m busy, crazy
or just plain happy and next to everything.
You must consider that I won’t speak for months.
Maybe because I’m reading old letters,
facing the mirror contemplating thoughts
that do not concern you my dear. I’m having a good,
bad dream and a phase that goes through it all.
Or I’m content like a pack full of cigarettes.
Again and again however will I go.
What is so special about those cellar door?
Nevertheless your pretty blue eyes have to wait 3
maybe 4 days before I get up and decide either way.
Because it’s so damn frustrating to be right
and not being able to simply go nuts.
Best regards


Ewan
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camus
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Sun May 07, 2006 4:22 pm

Ewan,

Your poems are never less than interesting, often intriguing. Have you been reading Walt Whitman?

"and next to everything." could mean so much?

"Or I’m content like a pack full of cigarettes." here are you personifying the cigarrettes ?

Unfortunately its very difficult to string the obscurites together, it seems like fragments from many poems!

Still, some exciting language used.

cheers
Kris
http://www.closetpoet.co.uk
Ewan_McTeagle
Posts: 41
Joined: Tue Nov 22, 2005 2:35 am
Location: Poland

Sun May 07, 2006 11:50 pm

Yes I've been reading Walt Whitman for a long time.
I know it might be chaotic but I wanted to get opinions in order to improve.

Thank you very much Camus.
Best regards


Ewan
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