Bold thoughts

[shijin]

Today I am bold
I could do anything

I could
stand on the tips of my toes
reach into the sky
and dress myself with night diamonds

I could
scoop up the morning birds
and wear them
singing in my hair

Today I have been bold
I have done something

I have
whispered your name
into that space which is fear
and excitement

I have
let myself
think about you

[benjywenjy]

hey Shijin

dress myself with night diamonds - a really nice image

scoop up the morning birds and wear them - a very quirky image but nice

The last 2 stanzas made me think the narrator is a little bit alienated and/or finds talking to girls difficult. It ends the piece in a good way

thanks for posting

benjy

[diva of reality]

At the beginning of this I thought, wow - empowered person and by the end it had changed to wow - obsessive stalker!

I found this very moving and quite tragic.

[Niny]

I really the way the words and sentence are placed, not just visually but when reading, it makes it flow in a good way, also i like the sense of freedom or positivity i get from the whole thing ..

[dillingworth]

i disagree slightly - i think maybe longer lines would make more sense as this poem is slightly conversational/monologic in style. makes it easier to read without detracting from the content. just an opinion.

[kozmikdave]

Gidday

Works for me the way it is. The open spacing of the lines adds space to poem.

The images place the time around dawn. Wow so early and you have achieved something. You must be a workaholic!

Cheers
Dave

[twoleftfeet]

I enjoyed this - a refreshingly optimistic poem.

I like the repetition of "I could" and then of "I have" which reinforces
the positivism.

Nice one
Geoff

[me]

the feelin one gets when finally overcoming a fear or finally having the guts to do something and having it pay off is well displayed. also that high feeling of twitterpation was what i felt.