That was intwesting, Teddy!
You know how I
went for a wee?
Well,
you didn't see,but
mummy and daddy
were rolling
all over
without their
pajamas and
eating bananas!
Well,
only one
poked
from under
the covers;
so where was my mother's?
Daddy says
share stuff with others...
Teddy; I'm not
myself,look
at me-
I only went for a wee.
Bear Innocence
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terriblefish
- Productive Poster
- Posts: 54
- Joined: Fri Nov 05, 2010 10:33 am
Wey hey! Cheers, John! If my poem made you laugh then my work here is truly done, ha ha!
Brilliant, that made my day
tf
Brilliant, that made my day
tf
A different look into the light and darkness of life here. I liked the honest approach here
and the giving of yours thoughts: it's heavy.
"so where was is my mother's daddy said
share thoughts with others and stay in bed.............
all of life the endless sceme to prevent our dreams
non zeaolot non anything "we are but dreams" Byron to drowning,
Keats consumption is a drowning. Can't feel my feet anymore.
"Byron, then this is the score". Suck up your lungs then fling
them wild you are an eternal child
You have a feel
Pleasure
My mother said.What? My Ma Ma said! It's good to be fruitful
and the giving of yours thoughts: it's heavy.
"so where was is my mother's daddy said
share thoughts with others and stay in bed.............
all of life the endless sceme to prevent our dreams
non zeaolot non anything "we are but dreams" Byron to drowning,
Keats consumption is a drowning. Can't feel my feet anymore.
"Byron, then this is the score". Suck up your lungs then fling
them wild you are an eternal child
You have a feel
Pleasure
My mother said.What? My Ma Ma said! It's good to be fruitful
Last edited by Lovely on Thu Mar 17, 2011 8:13 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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terriblefish
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- Joined: Fri Nov 05, 2010 10:33 am
John... I think David just complemented both of us there 
Thanks, David
Thanks, Lovely! But , that's just not how it went down,man...
tf
Thanks, David
Thanks, Lovely! But , that's just not how it went down,man...
tf
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terriblefish
- Productive Poster
- Posts: 54
- Joined: Fri Nov 05, 2010 10:33 am
I try 
And in answer to your rather unrhetorical rhetorical with a further rhetorical in hypothetical : would we really stick around long enough to find out the answer to that,really??
tf
And in answer to your rather unrhetorical rhetorical with a further rhetorical in hypothetical : would we really stick around long enough to find out the answer to that,really??
tf
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R P Jackson
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- Joined: Wed Aug 18, 2010 3:12 pm
Quite funny,
I appreciate that the the theme is deliberately low-brow and it's nicely handled. Only two points:
1. Either our young lad has a speech impediment (Intwesting) or he doesn't (rolling)
2. The close- "I'm not / myself,look / at me-" doesn't quite fit in with the innocence of what goes before.
Can someone please explain what a counter-point conspiracy/ contra-kiss is?
RP.
I appreciate that the the theme is deliberately low-brow and it's nicely handled. Only two points:
1. Either our young lad has a speech impediment (Intwesting) or he doesn't (rolling)
2. The close- "I'm not / myself,look / at me-" doesn't quite fit in with the innocence of what goes before.
Can someone please explain what a counter-point conspiracy/ contra-kiss is?
RP.
no need to .....David said it isn't so it isn't.R P Jackson wrote: Can someone please explain what a counter-point conspiracy/ contra-kiss is?
RP.
That's good.
I love being paranoid though - that means I'm never disappointed. (There is meaning in everything - it's just a question of finding it)
J.
Before you shave with Occam’s razor - Try epilation or microlaser
Of course, just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not trying to get you.
The trick is in defining "they".
Disappointing poem, though, tf, particularly as I quite liked your last one, paradigm or no paradigm. Never mind, it's obviously tickled some palates.
Cheers
David
The trick is in defining "they".
Disappointing poem, though, tf, particularly as I quite liked your last one, paradigm or no paradigm. Never mind, it's obviously tickled some palates.
Cheers
David
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terriblefish
- Productive Poster
- Posts: 54
- Joined: Fri Nov 05, 2010 10:33 am
Thanks so much to everyone! Wow,so much feedback!
RP, you raise an excellent point, and though my ego wants me to blag the omission of the speech impediment as a transition of innocence or impending clarity, I am not going to as it would be completely dishonest - you've got me. Not sure what to do, if anything with that at the moment! You blew my mind though RP, thanks
Pauline, I am delighted you found this funny as that was my aim! I work nights and have been on duty for several now, and sleep deprivation does do strange things to the mind! Ironically when that mind is trying to shut down for sleep ha ha! I found myself out of bed , scrabbling for a pencil, and five minutes or so later I had this first draft! Sometimes toiling for days over a line seems so silly...but hey. That's the very nature of our work.
So close,yet still so far, eh, David glad you enjoyed 'The Better Half' more than you did this one! The arguable ambiguity of your first comment, which I now realise was not an allusion to the poem, was sadly misconstrued on my part
Hopefully the impending work will strike a higher chord.
Thanks all for taking the time to contribute! Your feedback is so helpful to me.
tf
RP, you raise an excellent point, and though my ego wants me to blag the omission of the speech impediment as a transition of innocence or impending clarity, I am not going to as it would be completely dishonest - you've got me. Not sure what to do, if anything with that at the moment! You blew my mind though RP, thanks
Pauline, I am delighted you found this funny as that was my aim! I work nights and have been on duty for several now, and sleep deprivation does do strange things to the mind! Ironically when that mind is trying to shut down for sleep ha ha! I found myself out of bed , scrabbling for a pencil, and five minutes or so later I had this first draft! Sometimes toiling for days over a line seems so silly...but hey. That's the very nature of our work.
So close,yet still so far, eh, David
glad you enjoyed 'The Better Half' more than you did this one! The arguable ambiguity of your first comment, which I now realise was not an allusion to the poem, was sadly misconstrued on my part Hopefully the impending work will strike a higher chord.
Thanks all for taking the time to contribute! Your feedback is so helpful to me.
tf
No worries, tf, but you're quite right. I was just teasing John about his paranoia. Not alluding to the poem at all.terriblefish wrote:So close,yet still so far, eh, David
Cheers
David