The Perfect DIY Man

[Suzanne]

The Perfect DIY Man

A glimpse of you passing my window
and I am held
in the moment of discovery, anticipate
you coming again into my garden.

The pane of glass doesn't yield to my touch
but cannot resist my gaze as I try to focus
on my tasks; nest the curve of bowls
into one another, lie spoons
and butter knives together. I slide
my finger through handles of cups,
adjust them to the best positions.
Tip the glasses to heaven, ready to be filled.

And mindlessly fuss, unfolding
what's been folded only to fold it again.

Chairs move over concrete
and I imagine you setting them in the sun
as the kettle begins to whistle. And very soon,
when a knock is heard on my door,

your smile will take the tray from my hands
and begin to fix what has been long broken.






.

[IainMichaelBryan]

This has a lovely flow to it, I like the way you describe domestic actions to convey a sense of longing.

'nest the curve of bowls' is gorgeous.

I don't think 'on my tasks' or 'only' are necessary, and 'unfolding' is a fold too many. How about 'unfurling'?

Iain

[Antcliff]

The perfect DIY man, eh, Has a nice day dream quality and a, er, fun sexual subtext... fingers on handles, etc.

I liked this lovely bit especally..

Tip the glasses to heaven, ready to be filled.

And "mindlessly fuss". Nicely evokes a kind of flustered state.

Seth

[Suzanne]

Thank you Iian, i appreciate the comment. The quiet longing of love is wrapped in this. This female is stuck in her head and repeating the word fold, while I agree most of the time, should be alternated, in this case it reveals her frustration at the mindlessness of it. Generally though, I do agree.

Seth, what do you mean sexual subtext, lol. ( she tips her chin back and gently laughs) what does a good handyman do but a little tinkering? I am glad you caught the tips the glasses to heaven bit because the proverbial glass is always ready to be filled, isn't it? if it is tipped correctly to heaven? I live by such cliches.

This is one of my favorites, I confess. And a first after a looong dry spell, that is always a filled up feeling.

Thank you Seth.

Warmly,
Suzanne

[ray miller]

Enjoyed. Very Suzanne, is it not? Nice ending, only I thought most of the penultimate stanza wasn't adding much.

And mindlessly fuss, unfolding
what's been folded only to fold it again. - an example of effective repetition

[Suzanne]

Thanks Ray.
Er, i guess it is very me. Yaaaaawn.

The last line perhaps isn't clear enough. This man will not be doing home repairs but will provide companionship and conversation which is much more difficult to find than a handyman. I now realize this might not be coming through. ?

Warmly,
Suzanne