Nature (version 2)

[CalebPerry]

Nature (version 2)

I love nature as much as the next guy,
as long as I’m not near it. While he,
his wife, his children, his grandmama
catch Lyme disease from the forest floor,
I’ll be taking a slow hike from the fridge
to the TV room to the leaf-green terlet.

====================

Nature (version 1)

I love nature as much as the next guy,
as long as I’m not near it. Let him,
his wife, his children, his grandmama
become hosts for Lyme-infected ticks,
while I take a hike from the kitchen to
the TV room to the leaf-green terlet.

☙

I'm in something of a rut these days writing ugly, short poems. This poem by Whitman is the kind of thing I'd like to be writing, but it's hard to feel open to love and the future when you are old and have a lot of health problems:


The Glimpse

A glimpse through an interstice caught,
Of a crowd of workmen and drivers in a bar-room around the stove late of a winter night,
and I unremark’d seated in a corner,
Of a youth who loves me and whom I love, silently approaching and seating himself near,
that he may hold me by the hand,
A long while amid the noises of coming and going, of drinking and oath and smutty jest,
There we two, content, happy in being together, speaking little, perhaps not a word.


... not that I want to write in free verse, but I haven't had a lovely thought in a while.

[Morpheus]

I've never heard to word "terlet" before, I'm getting a few different meanings on Google and toilet is the most likely. You don't see many green toilets these days, that detail reminds me or to 80s so it's nostalgic for me personally.

I like the leaf symbol you post too; it gives a nice finish.

I've realised that the best thing I can do is write about what I know and I see that when you write about what you know best then the writing is often stronger for it. If it's any consolation, my experience is that being in a relationship can often be quite lonely and the honeymoon period soon gives why to dull every day functional stuff.

I like your poem because it's honest about what suits you and there's an anxious comedy that borders on tragedy. It doesn't need to be pretty to be poetic.

Regards

Mike

[CalebPerry]

Thanks, Mike.

Yes, "terlet" means "toilet". Are you in America or England? I've forgotten. In the U.S., there are people who pronounce it "terlet". That sets up a resonance with "near it" a few lines above.

"Lyme-infected ticks" sounds a little clinical, but "Lyme-sick ticks" doesn't sound right.

I like the way I throw the grandmother under the bus along with the rest of the family. I also like the way I turn walking around the house into a "hike".

Every time I got into a relationship, I spent the whole time worried about when I was going to lose him, so I know that relationships aren't happy things for everyone.

Yes, I think this poem is okay. Versification Zine might like it.

Thanks again.

[MilesTRanter]

Hi Caleb,

Woody Allen doesn’t like nature either. When he takes breaks from his screenwriting, he goes on his treadmill. So he exercises but never outdoors.

I like this little poem of yours. It has a melancholic feel. It’s a sort of answer to the Whitman poem, which is quite evocative.

About relationships: the falling-in-love part feels like your on drugs (dopamine and oxytocin kick in), but then, after the FALLING-in part, it’s actually BEING in love. That takes work. It’s easy to take your partner for granted, so there’s got to be communication and empathy for each other. That’s the only way any relationship can last.

Being without a partner for a long time can be extremely lonely (especially for elderly folks). In fact, I recently watched a documentary about loneliness. Loneliness now is sort of an epidemic. The film took place in the UK, but I’m sure it’s the same in the US. Keeping busy or doing things for others helps, or getting a dog or cat or some other pet can help too.

I like the mention of Lyme disease. Yes, just as there are dangers in starting a new relationship (especially after multiple failures or breakups), there are also dangers in going for a hike through the forest. So many folks have thrown in the towel and would rather “hike from the fridge / to the TV room to the leaf-green terlet.” That’s a excellent sentence that gets the drift of a strong feeling across. I think the poem conveys some dark humor as well as pathos.

Miles

[CalebPerry]

Miles, I'm so glad you like this poem -- seriously. Since I am something of a curmudgeon, I write from that perspective quite a bit, and that's what I'm doing here. I hate biting insects -- ticks, fleas, mosquitos. To me, the greatest invention of the last two centuries is window screens. I have such good window screens in my house that I may see a mosquito in here only once in five years. Why should I want to leave those screens behind to -- for example -- go camping? But I did enjoy camping when I was young, and I had the comfort of knowing that I would be back behind the screens soon enough.

Yeah, I've spent my life alone for the most part. I was a temperamental boyfriend and got dumped a lot. I had so much to offer, but brought only sadness and need to my relationships. Even though I've grown a bit in my old age, I don't think I have completely unravelled this particular knot, and I think I'll have to spend another life working on it. The important thing is that being alone all my life hasn't made me [too] bitter, or made me angry at God. In my religion, God does not control our lives or their outcomes.

The epidemic of loneliness in Western society is clearly because we don't live together as families any more, but go off on our own at an early age. Community means less to modern man. (For example, my mother kicked her children out as soon as they turned 18, and she was perfectly happy living on her own in a large house with four bedrooms.) I actually wrote a poem which addressed that issue, and if you don't mind I'm going to post it here because it is appropriate. (If you've seen it already, sorry.)

Climbing
On living in an antique house

The steep, steep stairs that I climb
to get into my home were built
for shorter people with stronger legs
who died from overwork, not
overeating, nor hours of sitting
on soft cushions, wondering why
their families never called, because
their families lived right up the stairs
with them, sharing their trials, toils,
every moment of every busy day.


This poem has already been critiqued.

[MilesTRanter]

Hi Caleb,

I like that poem, “Climbing,” a lot. Thanks for sharing it.

When you say you only brought “sadness” and “need,” well, I won’t say anything about the sadness part, but as far as “need” (or “neediness”) goes, everyone has needs. I hate the word “needy” because, again, everyone has needs! I was recently watching a video about anxious attachment styles. It was quite interesting. Here’s the video if you are interested in watching it.



Speaking of ticks, fleas, and mosquitos, I was recently on a trail and the skeeters were crazy! I couldn’t stand it. It’s great that you have great window screens!

[CalebPerry]

Thanks, Martin. I'll look at the video later this evening. I've enjoyed exchanging notes about life.