Daily math

[Suzanne]

Daily math

The challenge
is to balance the day
upon the minutes
and make the end result
greater than the sum
of all the parts.

[PhilipCFJohnson]

Superb little spill Suzanne!
Wise words, nicely and elegantly put!

All the best
Phil

[mesmie]

Suz

Hah.. I wish they had taught me that at school instead of measuring the diameter of a cats whisker!

A super equation. Thjis little one just feels good when spoken out loud.

mes

[Ros]

Very nice!

[Danté]

Suzanne

A good objective to strive for.
Very clearly stated in a pleasant, tight little package.

Tim

[BenJohnson]

I can only say I have read and re-read this and I love it. Like they say the best things sometime come in small packages.

[nar]

This is lovely, Suzanne.

When I read "day", then "minutes", I was expecting "hours" and "seconds" to follow somewhere.
I'm glad they didn't.

I was tempted to say: "of all the parts" is less obvious than "of all its parts", but then you lose your "the" in every line.

I'm glad I had such a nice poem to review as my first crit!

-Neil.

[arunansu]

I join the others in praising your effort. Do you need the "and" in L4?

[Suzanne]

Phil, Mesmie, Ros, Dante, Ben, Nar and Aru,

Wow! Thank you so much for the positive feedback. It is such a little thing that the details of my thanks would be redundant but thanks, thanks..... thanks!

I really appreciate the replies. what fun!
Suzanne

[John G]

sounds like some simple piece of Zen philosophy which I'm sure we can call relate to.

[Sharra]

I really liked this. If you wanted to tighten it slightly you could maybe swap a couple of words so it reads:

The challenge
balancing the day
upon the minutes,
making the end result
greater than the sum
of all the parts.

Sharra
x

[Tramontane]

it does sound to me like something you might read in a very expensive christmas cracker , which is a good thing as we only have what was woolworth crackers here.

i think writing about large concepts such as time and satisfaction very demanding and difficult but you have fermented it down in to a very strong and simple essensce which is absorbed quickly!

thanks

[thoke]

I like the idea of balancing a day upon the minutes. But I think the poem is spoiled by the cliche at the end. Can you think of a more original way of saying what you mean?

Ben

[Suzanne]

Tram, Sharra and Thoke,

Thank you for your comments. I appreciate the feedback.
and I hope that it brought you some pleasant memories of maths class!
Suzanne