Cleansings

[Tramontane]

Cleansings

The warning Gulls, screeched like forks emptying plates
whilst LCD's monitors sweat Leeming's last breath.
The data reads like dying kelp,mobiles pour seashell
voices into toddlers disbeleiving heads.

and the Dollars as lost as green glass on a pebble beech
bonuses weep for Gannets who vomit orange twine.

Driftwood utters "take me back to where I began"
but the accountants begg on the Pier flinging fists of
pens and pissing blue ink.

They all went to the waters edge;

agressive passions errected more palaces that fell in Easter
Island reposes.An eddying greed spasms in an undying communion
of thirsty lusts.

The Deep will know thier value and let them be worth nothing again.

[Danté]

Quite a topical piece.

I am surprised this is just slipping down the board, as you have some good metaphors
although one or two are a little used. I noticed, that you have not replied to many other
posts on this forum, which might be a reason for your lack of replies.
I´m not having a dig, It´s just that these places rely on give and take, and althouhg
you have poste elsewhere about the forum, there has not been a lot of action from you here.
It takes a couple of posts and a little interaction to get amongst it, I hope you stick around
and add to the wonderful mix we have here.

all the best

Danté

[David]

Fair point made by Tim there. Something else I might suggest, because we don't have a spell-check facility on site, is typing your poem into (say) Word, first, and checking the spelling there before posting it here. It just takes the first few wrinkles out of a poem.

Cheers

David

[mesmie]

Well T

What a jam packed read.

enjoyed

and the Dollars as lost as green glass on a pebble beech
bonuses weep for Gannets who vomit orange twine.

My fave is below

Driftwood utters "take me back to where I began"
but the accountants begg on the Pier flinging fists of
pens and pissing blue ink.

Your last line holds no impact for me personally and I would end with thirsty lusts!

thanks
regards
mes

[El Wow!]

now this was an interesting read, nicely spiced.only quibble, and a hard one to replace, one of those likes.
El